Emotional Healing & Resilience | The Lifestyle Book https://www.thelifestylebook.com All Things Wellness Sun, 23 Feb 2025 20:35:09 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/cropped-TLB-7-150x150.png Emotional Healing & Resilience | The Lifestyle Book https://www.thelifestylebook.com 32 32 8 Tips on How to Deal With a Breakup and Heal Emotionally https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-deal-with-a-breakup/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-deal-with-a-breakup/#respond Thu, 20 Feb 2025 08:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=7403 “Move on and forget it.” “You will find someone better.” “It’s not as tough as you make it look like!” These might be some of the phrases you have heard from the people around you if you have ever had a breakup or if you are experiencing one. Breaking up, whether it’s a friendship or...

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How to Deal with a Breakup
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“Move on and forget it.”

“You will find someone better.”

“It’s not as tough as you make it look like!”

These might be some of the phrases you have heard from the people around you if you have ever had a breakup or if you are experiencing one. Breaking up, whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, is undoubtedly difficult and can trigger a whirlwind of emotions for anyone involved. It can also make you feel like you will never come out of this heartbreak.

But like there is a solution for anything, this article can help you understand how to deal with a breakup and what you can do to heal a broken heart. 

Stages of a Breakup

Before we go deep and talk about how to deal with a breakup, it is important to know how many stages of grief you might be going through. These are the basic stages of grief, as we all know, but here, they are covered from the perspective of a breakup. Learning them this way will help you manage and deal with your feelings better. 

  • Denial: Denial marks the beginning of the breakup, where you struggle to accept that it’s really over. You might find yourself hoping for reconciliation and spending a different amount of time in this confusing phase. 

  • Anger: As the denial wears off, you might be asking yourself questions like, “How can he/she do this to me?” Or “I am not the one who did it.” It is basically anger, where you start blaming others or even thinking of taking revenge on them.

  • Bargaining: This stage makes you salvage your relationship. You might think about past events and how things could have been different if you were together.

  • Depression: After a few weeks, the fourth stage of depression sets in where you can start to wonder, “How will I survive without them?”. You feel sad and hopeless like you’ve lost everything. 

  • Acceptance: In the end, you will feel a change in your thoughts and accept that the relationship is over. You might find out why things ended and for what reason. The intense sadness will fade away, and you will feel lighter and ready to move on. 

Why Do You Need to Heal From Breakup?

There is no doubt that breakups can hurt your emotions, but their mental effects can be harsh as well. Studies have shown that breakups may cause feelings that are quite similar to withdrawal from an addiction. This can cause mental health issues like intrusive thoughts, insomnia, and even decreased immune function. 

Some people might think these effects aren’t very important, but the truth is that they can have a major impact on your mental and physical health. That is why the sooner you know how to deal with a breakup, the better it is. 

8 Best Tips on How to Deal With a Breakup

Now that you have understood the stages and the importance of moving on, the next step is to learn some tips on how to get through a breakup. These tips also apply to answering your question about how to deal with friendship breakups, except a few. 

1. Don’t Fight With Your Feelings

You know that you are hurt, and the only way to deal with that pain of a breakup is to truly experience it. So don’t rush on the emotions; let yourself feel them one at a time. There might be good moments and some bad ones too. So, if you feel like crying, then cry. While crying might have a bad reputation, it is extremely helpful. One study also supports this claim that crying can release oxytocin and endorphins, which help to ease emotional as well as physical pain. 

So take your time, be gentle with your feelings, and let them out in the way you want to. 

2. Don’t Personalise the Loss

If you suffered a breakup from a romantic relationship, it is totally normal to feel like you are the one to be blamed. A lot of pain can also come from believing that it’s all your fault and regretting the choices you made when you were together. But this cycle of guilt has to come to an end at some point, so why not make it now? 

The best you can do here is to stop blaming yourself and think of your breakup as a result of different needs or perhaps just some incompatibilities and not anyone’s fault. Practice forgiveness if you’ve been hurt and self-forgiveness if you feel like you’ve hurt the other person. Remember that relationships are complex; sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t. 

3. Set No Contact Rule

This has to be one of the important things, especially for your physical and mental health. When things are over between you two, you don’t need to know where they are or with whom. Any contact with them, either direct or indirect, will bring back old memories and hopes. These things can hold you back when you are thinking of moving forward. 

So be strict with yourself and set a no-contact rule with your ex. If you have any of their belongings, remove or store them away from your living space. Also, don’t call, text, or email them, and remove yourself from their social media or chat groups. It might be a harsh thing to do, but you are just prioritizing your journey now, and doing this is part of it.

4. Be Yourself 

We usually forget what it feels like to be on our own again, especially after being the second half of the couple for a while. So, here, the next thing on the list of how to cope with a breakup is to be yourself. 

Try to think about yourself and yourself only to regain that amazing sense of independence you lost while being someone’s significant other. This can be done in many ways. For example, treat yourself to your comfort food, re-evaluate your health goals, or set new personal objectives. 

Even if you want to buy something, then buy yourself a nice outfit that you have been eyeing for so long and give yourself a post-breakup glow-up. 

5. Write a Letter to Your Ex

Image credits: Castorly Stock

Writing is always the best therapy in times when you don’t feel like sharing thoughts with anyone. So grab a journal and start writing your emotions, goals, or anything else in your mind.

Another powerful exercise is to write letters to your ex. This is really nice for people who are searching for methods on how to deal with a long-term breakup and looking for closure. 

Of course, you don’t have to send these written letters to your ex. They are just used to convey those unsaid thoughts you might have. It can help you feel more at ease and facilitate your journey to moving on. This exercise is also used in the book Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas, a relationship therapist in New York. 

So, use this writing and journaling power to heal from a breakup. If you are interested in learning more, read my other article about the Benefits of Journaling for extra guidance and inspiration. 

6. Reach Out to Family and Friends

If you are still searching for an answer to how to deal with a friend breakup, the solution is quite simple: lean on your family and other friends. They are here for a reason, not because you need them but because they are naturally the ones you will turn to when you need to talk. Studies also indicate that social interactions with friends and family can reduce feelings of loneliness and depression.

Don’t hesitate or be afraid to talk to them or take help from them. Sharing your emotions with a trusted friend or a family member can also help you get a new perspective. 

So, try to spend the weekend with your parents, grandparents, friends, or siblings and share your thoughts with them. Their support might be the only thing you need at this time. 

7. Distract Yourself With Something Positive 

The next thing on the list of how to overcome a breakup is to distract yourself from the negative thoughts. According to one study, distraction was a good way to deal with feelings of loss after a breakup, especially when you want to feel good. 

One particularly special approach here is to do something nice for others. The human psyche shows that helping others has a positive effect on mental health. So consider volunteering by helping a friend in need or simply performing small acts of kindness in your daily life.

8. Move On

You might have hated this line earlier, too, but the most important thing you can do is to distance yourself from that person. Even if it takes being on a vacation to Hawaii, so be it. Take this chance as your breakup motivation and travel to feel free from any boundaries.

How to Break Up with Someone Nicely

Image credits:  Vera Arsic

There are times when you have to be the heartbreaker. Here, what you can do best is take things with kindness and respect. 

  • Choose the Right Time and Place: Avoid public places where emotions can escalate or you might feel uncomfortable. Prefer a private setting to have this conversation. 

  • Stay Honest and Humble: Clearly tell how you feel and why you want to end the relationship without being too harsh. 

  • Don’t Blame: Tell the news from your point of view without blaming the other person. For example, use “I” statements to tell how you feel.

  • Be Prepared for Emotions and Listen: The other person may feel sad, angry, or confused. Allow your partner to talk about how they feel. Listen to them and what they have to share, but be strong in your choice.

  • Give them space: After a breakup, let yourself and the other person process the situation. Keeping a distance afterward is often the best approach for healing. 

Summing It Up

Breakups hurt a lot, whether with a romantic partner, best friend, life partner, or any other kind of relationship. But they are not the end of the world. In fact, they can be the start of something better. 

As Marilyn Monroe once said,  “Sometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.” 

Time is a healer, so be patient with yourself. Engage in distractions and consider the tips we’ve shared above. While the healing process may feel slow, it will improve with time. The best part is that the breakup tips we have discussed above are the same for men and also address the question of how to deal with a breakup for men in any situation.

So, what do you think of these tips? Share your thoughts or any other ideas you have on how to deal with breakups. We would love to know what our readers think. 

FAQs

How do you cope with a breakup?

You can cope with a breakup in many ways by accepting the situation, seeking support from friends and family, staying within yourself, and setting boundaries to help with emotional healing.

What are the 5 stages of a breakup?

There are five stages of getting over a breakup: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages show how you’ll feel as you deal with the end of the relationship.

Why do breakups hurt so bad? 

Breakups hurt deeply because they involve the loss of emotional attachment. The brain goes through withdrawal, which is similar to addiction and causes emotions like sadness, anxiety, and loneliness.

How to handle a breakup when you love them?

To handle a breakup when you still love someone requires accepting reality and emotions, putting yourself first, and reaching out to friends for support. Use the breakup as an opportunity to develop as an individual.

References 

  1. Field, T., 1, Touch Research Institute, & Fielding Graduate University. (2011). Romantic breakups, heartbreak and bereavement. In Psychology (Vols. 2–2, Issue 4, pp. 382–387). https://doi.org/10.4236/psych.2011.2406
  2. GračAnin, A., Bylsma, L. M., & Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M. (2014). Is crying a self-soothing behavior? Frontiers in Psychology, 5. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00502
  3. Kuczynski, A. M., Halvorson, M. A., Slater, L. R., & Kanter, J. W. (2021). The effect of social interaction quantity and quality on depressed mood and loneliness: A daily diary study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(3), 734–756. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211045717
  4. APA PsycNet. (n.d.). https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-37800-001

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14 Ways to Have a Self-Love Valentine’s Day: Activities, Journal Prompts, and More https://www.thelifestylebook.com/self-love-valentines-day/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/self-love-valentines-day/#respond Thu, 16 Jan 2025 10:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=7271 As that time of year looms again, with roses and chocolates and romantic music, many of us start to feel blue. What if we don’t have a partner to shower us with love, or what if we simply want to provide that for our selves? That’s where a self-love Valentine’s Day comes in. This guide...

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self love valentines
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As that time of year looms again, with roses and chocolates and romantic music, many of us start to feel blue. What if we don’t have a partner to shower us with love, or what if we simply want to provide that for our selves? That’s where a self-love Valentine’s Day comes in.

This guide provides 14 practical suggestions to celebrate self-love this Valentine’s Day, from journal prompts and uplifting quotes, to craft projects and self-gifting.

Is February the Month of Self-Love?

The origin of Valentine’s Day, and why it’s celebrated in February, is disputed. Some historians trace its origins to Pagan celebrations and rituals of fertility, while others claim it stems from a Roman execution of two men named Valentine in the 3rd century.

In any case, despite it’s traditional purpose of showing love between romantic partners, it can also serve as an important reminder to prioritize our own self-care. In fact, taking the opportunity to practice self-love on this day can set a positive tone for the rest of the year.

But never fear, it doesn’t have to look like a self love valentines speech in front of the mirror. We will break down some useful ideas in this article.

Can Valentine’s Day Be About Self-Love?

Absolutely, yes! In fact, this has become a growing phenonmenon over the years, as people, whether single or taken, acknowledge the deeper importance of loving yourself first.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support one’s physical, psychological, and spiritual growth – Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.

Any day can be about self-love if you choose, but what better place to begin than by repurposing the couple-centric Valentine’s Day, to make it about honoring your own worth and wellbeing above all.

How to Make Yourself Happy on Valentine’s Day

We know – Valentine’s Day can be a little depressing for those of us who don’t have romantic partners to buy us thoughtful gifts or take us out on a date. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others in different circumstances, but why not take the opportunity of Valentine’s Day to channel all the energy we would put into a romantic partner into ourselves?

You might start with framing the day as a total and complete Self-Love Day.

How to Do a Self-Love Day

A self-love day will look different for each person. After all, what one person finds to be relaxing or fulfilling can differ greatly from others. So start by thinking honestly about what makes you feel good, maybe write a self love valetines paragraph or letter to get you going, then incorporate some of the self love Valetine’s Day ideas below into your special day.

Self Love Valentines Quotes
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Activities for a Self-Love Valentine’s Day

1. Self-Love Valentine’s Journaling

Journaling encourages a deeper level of instrospection and self-awareness, perfect for your self-love day.

Here are some prompt ideas to get you going:

  • What does self-love mean to me?
  • What are my favorite ways to nurture my mind, body and soul?
  • What are three things I appreciate about myself?
  • What is one thing I am proud of myself for recently?

You also might include some self love valentines quotes that resonate with you. Affirmations and meaningful words like this can be a great aid in cultivating self-worth:

  • “You alone are enough, you have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Dr. Maya Angelou
  • “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey
  • “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton
  • “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brene Brown
  • “You are what you believe yourself to be.” – Paulo Coelho

2. Craft a Self-Love Vision Board

Crafts are a great way to celebrate self-love on Valentine’s Day, and could be the perfect way to get kids involved if you have them. Take it as an opportunity to delve deep into the things you love and cherish about yourself, and find a creative way of displaying that through a physical or digital vision board or bulletin board.

3. Write Yourself a Loving Card or Letter

No one to write you a card? No matter. What’s more meaningful than love and validation found from within yourself? Self love cards are the perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day, whether a brief paragraph or a whole self love essay, thank yourself for the unique qualities you bring to the world. Putting pen to paper in this way will help to give your self love valentines meaning.

4. Take a Relaxing Walk in Nature

The concept of the ‘mental health walk’ has taken the internet by storm, and for good reason. Exposure to nature has been linked to all kinds of health benefits, both physically and mentally, so what better way to honor your self-love?

5. Practice Self-Love Yoga and Meditation

Yoga and meditation are wonderful forms of self-care and a great way to show yourself love on Valentine’s Day. If you aren’t a confident yogi, no problem, there are plenty of freely available guided meditations and flows that can be found online. Go inwards in meditation, and bask in the endorphins of exercise.

6. Bake Something Sweet for Yourself

There’s nothing like a sweet treat, especially when lovingly made. Find a simple recipe and make a ritual out of the whole process, from preparing the ingredients to finally sitting down to tuck into the spoils of your labor.

7. Create an At-Home Spa Experience

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to indulge in a thorough pampering session. No need for a spare pair of hands or a luxury budget, just the gift of time, a few products and a self-love frame of mind. Run a bubble bath, light some candles, play some music and kick back.

8. Curate Your Personal Self-Love Playlist

Everyone has a certain few tracks that light up their day. Whether it’s soft jazz or heavy metal, make a playlist with all your favorite, feel-good tunes to accompany you as you journal, walk, pamper or craft. After all, even science agrees that music has wonderful health benefits.

9. Make Your Own Dream Gift Hamper

Why wait for a gift to come to you, which you might not even like, when you can create the perfect gift for yourself? Create your self love valentines day basket, gift or hamper from the basis of your own likes and desires. Some ideas might be your favorite foods or pampering items, just make sure it’s what helps you to feel good.

10. Explore a New Hobby

Particularly when we become adults, trying new things becomes more daunting, or simply not a priority. But that one thing you’ve always wanted to give a go? Now’s the perfect time! Whether it’s ceramics or horse riding, take Valentine’s Day as the excuse to give it a try.

11. Plant Something in your Garden

Gardening can be an excellent self-love tool. Nurturing growth, being in nature and enjoying the fresh air are all ways to take care of your own mental wellbeing. By planting a new seed, bulb or tree, you nurture life and by extension, your own wellbeing and sense of connection to the earth.

12. Let Go in a Solo Dance Party

Time to throw a self-love Valentine’s Day party for one. As we know, music is a proven mood-booster, and dance can have the same affect! Embrace your freedom of expression and dance to your heart’s content, shaking off stagnant emotions and embracing the silliness of it all.

13. Unplug for the Day

Say goodbye to your devices for the day. Who needs to scroll on Instagram and look at other couples on Valentine’s Day, when you can take that time and energy and put it towards taking care of yourself? After all, ample evidence shows that taking a digital detox is great for our mental health and wellbeing.

14. Create Freely

Whether your prefered medium is painting, collaging or drawing, take this self-love valentines as an opportunity to flow creatively, with no boundaries or judgement. This can be a really helpful mindfulness activity, and a form of self-expression that nurtures the soul.

self love valentines gif
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How to Spread Self-Love Beyond Valentine’s Day

Remember that self-love doesn’t have to wait til Valentine’s Day. Far from it. Make self-care a year-round habit by incorporating it into your routine, or having one day a month where you really focus on yourself. Not only is this good for you, but it also positively impacts your relationships and dynamics with others.

We hope you enjoy your Self-Love Valentine’s Day! Don’t forget to put yourself first today, filling your own cup so that eventually you have more to share with others. After all…

If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? – RuPaul

Resonate with the self-care concepts in this article? Check out our recent piece, Heal Through Writing: Powerful Journal Prompts for Healing and Self-Care.

References

RACV. “Valentine’s Day Ideas to Share the Love.” RoyalAuto, RACV, https://www.racv.com.au/royalauto/lifestyle-home/valentines-day.html. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

Kantar. “How Valentine’s Day Is Transforming into a Season of Self-Love.” Kantar, https://www.kantar.com/uki/inspiration/consumer/how-valentines-day-is-transforming-into-a-season-of-self-love. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

Morin, Jennifer. “A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love.” Psychology Today, 8 Mar. 2012, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

Felsenthal, Julia. “The Power of Powering Off Your Phone for Just an Hour.” Psychology Today, 22 Mar. 2022, https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-good-life-ritual/202203/the-power-of-powering-off-your-phone-for-just-an-hour. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

Clay, Rebecca A. “Nurtured by Nature.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological Association, Apr. 2020, https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

Harvard Health Publishing. “Tuning In: How Music May Affect Your Heart.” Harvard Health, 1 Mar. 2021, https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/tuning-in-how-music-may-affect-your-heart. Accessed 10 Jan. 2025.

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The Effects of Complaining Are Far More Than You Might Think, According to Spiritual Teachers & Psychologists https://www.thelifestylebook.com/effects-of-complaining/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/effects-of-complaining/#respond Mon, 13 Jan 2025 06:13:42 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=7168 We all have this habit of complaining about little things in life. Even research says that an average person complains about 15-30 times a day in their everyday conversations. These complaints can be about anything, like the weather being too hot or too cold, the food not tasting a certain way, or the money we...

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Image Credits: Mikhail Nilov

We all have this habit of complaining about little things in life. Even research says that an average person complains about 15-30 times a day in their everyday conversations. These complaints can be about anything, like the weather being too hot or too cold, the food not tasting a certain way, or the money we earn is too little. While these things seem to be very small, the effects of complaining can be very massive on us. So how is complaining bad, and does it affect us? 

This article will focus on all the effects of complaining and how we can change our perspective for the better.

Why Do People Complain? 

First of all, we need to understand why we all complain. There can be hundreds of reasons for this. But we will be focusing on some shared by Will Bowen in his book Complaint Free World, such as

  • To Get Attention: As simple as it sounds, many people like to be the centre of attention, and they use the act of complaining as their tool. But this looks very useless and has no purpose at all. 
  • To Remove Responsibility: Sometimes, people complain to avoid responsibility for a difficult task.  For example, someone might complain about not having enough money to cover their expenses instead of taking responsibility for managing the budget and their spending habits.
  • To Validate: People also complain because they also crave validation. When they talk, they want to foster a feeling of connection and use complaints to relate with each other. 
  • To Regulate Their Emotions: Complaining usually gives short-term relief, and many people vent out complaining as they say it makes them feel better. 
  • As an Excuse: Some people also use complaints as an excuse to cover up their failure. For example, an employee who fails to work on deadlines complains of a heavy workload.

Negative Effects of Complaining

While we might not think and take complaining as a sign of venting out, research says that it comes with a cost. 

Negative Effects of Complaining on Mental Health

From a mental perspective, the effects of complaining can be so harsh on the brain that it wires it for negativity. 

The brain is designed to work efficiently, meaning that when we repeat a thought, whether it is negative or positive, the nerve cells form a bridge between each other to expedite the passage of information. As a result, the next time we have a similar thought, it is more easily transmitted. Such a kind of mechanism is called neuronal wiring and can become habitual and engrained over time. So if we keep in complainant brain, it learns only that And if we consistently complain, the brain learns to default to negativity, reinforcing a mindset that focuses on problems rather than solutions.

A Stanford study shows that consistent effects of complaining can cause changes in the brain too. It shrinks the hippocampus in particular, which is an important part of the brain. Along with the negative brain changes, complaining also causes the release of the stress hormone cortisol.

All of these things can have long-lasting effects on your mental health, your thinking ability, and your general health.

Effects of Complaining on Energy and Aura

Just like the mental and physical aspects, the effects of complaining are very much visible on energy and aura. When you complain or say something negative, it not only drains your own energy but can also make the air around you feel heavy. This negativity can bring in more negativity, creating a loop that makes everything feel worse all around. 

Similarly, if you constantly complain or whine, others may feel uneasy or drained in your presence. This also weakens social ties and support networks. Such an idea was also shared by David Ghyiam, a spiritual leader, in one of his reels.

Signs You Complain Too Much

Photo credits: Liza Summer

It is very normal to vent sometimes in daily conversations. But there are some signs that show that you complain too much, for example, 

  • You might bring the same grievances, negative talks, and complaints whenever you talk to people. 
  • Your conversations are always focused on finding problems rather than solutions. 
  • You have noticed that complaining makes you more angry or upset.
  • Your friends and family seem less interested in you or try to avoid talking to you. 
  • You always find something negative, even in the most positive situations. 

If these signs sound like you, don’t worry. There are many people like you who have this habit and might not even know it. The first thing that needs to be done to make good changes is to recognize these patterns.

How To Stop Complaining

By now, we know that the effects of complaining are not only on your mental health but also on your physical health and surroundings. Such kind of negativity can weigh heavily on our lives. So, how can we change our perspective to achieve inner calm?

Here are some useful tips that will help you have a positive outlook whenever you feel like complaining. 

1. Be More Grateful 

Image source: Eduardo Dutra

The best way to deal with constant complaining is to be grateful for everything. Just like complaining acts like a poison, gratitude acts like an antidote. When you practice being grateful for the things you have rather than ranting or complaining, it has been shown to improve happiness, well-being, and life satisfaction while lowering depressive symptoms.

It is also great for reducing physical symptoms. For example, a 2023 research study has shown that gratitude can reduce cortisol levels by 23%, as well as blood pressure and cholesterol. 

A simple, happy exercise is suggested by psychologists as a way to practice gratitude and stop complaining. In it, all you have to do is write three things that made you happy. Now, take your time and think about each one of them. Read your list again the next day and be grateful for those times. This practice can help you stop complaining and start focusing on the good things in your life. 

2. Sandwich Your Complaint 

This is a very interesting way to stop complaining, called the sandwich method. This technique involves starting with a positive statement, sharing your complaint, and then wrapping it up with another positive note. 

For example, if you feel like complaining about the weather, try saying, “I love the sunny days we’ve been having; they’re great for making plans outside!” However, the unexpected downpour surprised me. I hope to see clearer skies again soon! 

In this way, you can say how you feel while keeping a positive and reasonable tone.

3. Try Phrasing Things Differently 

Just like sandwiching the complaint, you can also try another thing to minimize the negative effects of complaining. Just say them differently. You can try it using your complaining thoughts or words in more constructive sentences. 

For example, if you want to complain about the taste of a dish, avoid saying, “I didn’t like the pasta because the taste was too bland.” You could say, “The pasta tasted different than I expected. Maybe we can try more flavors.” 

So focus on your words and be more positive in your words and sayings, and you will see things getting better for you. 

4. Ask Your Friends

There can be some cases where we might not even be aware that we are still complaining. At times like these, having the support of family and friends can be very helpful. By asking them to point out to you politely, you can learn to recognize and avoid complaining patterns. 

Also remember not to take anything negative said by them, and use that constructive criticism to help you improve and think more clearly. 

5. Turn Your Complaints into Solutions

Lastly, if the things you complain about are in your hands, why not try taking action and improving things?

For example, if you always feel bored and usually complain about it, then pick up a hobby or anything that makes you happy and start working on it. Or if you always complain that you look fat, try finding solutions for it, like shifting to a healthy diet, doing exercises, etc.

Redirecting that negative energy into something constructive can not only improve your mood but also give you a sense of success. This, in return, can improve your mental, physical, and social well-being and also break you free from the cycle of complaining. This will also help limit the time spent complaining. 

Summing It Up

In the end, don’t be a person who complains about everything and thinks negatively. It’s okay to complain once in a while, especially about valid issues, but don’t make it a habit. The best thing you can do to stop complaining and channel better energy and health is to bring change for good. Remember Maya Angelou’s words here: “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”

So, what we suggest is to follow the techniques we have given above. They will surely help you with the negative habit of complaining. And if you cannot do anything about it, it is better to focus your energy on positive things rather than worrying about issues you can’t change.

Have you tried these strategies, or do you have your own tips that helped you get over the complaining? We would love to hear from you! Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment boxes below to help others become more optimistic!

And if you enjoyed reading this article, why don’t you check out our guide on the Best Wellness Gifts for Everyone? It’s full of thoughtful ideas and perfect gift options!

FAQs

What are the consequences of complaining?

Complaining all the time can bring negative effects on your mental and physical health. Even it can channel negative energy around you, straining social connections and making it harder to build supportive relationships.

How much complaining is too much?

The extent of complaining varies from person to person. However, if you complain about the same things over and over again without trying to find solutions, or if your complaints dominate your conversation, leaving others with a negative impact, then it might be too much. 

What happens to you when you complain?

Constant complaining can bring negative changes to your personality, mental health, and social connections. The long-term effects of complaining can manifest themselves in one’s physical health, too. 

How does complaining affect your attitude?

Complaining every time can reinforce negativity and shift your focus from solutions to problems. This often leads to feelings of helplessness and drags down your mood. Plus, it can push people away, which can put a strain on your support systems and relationships. 

References 

  1. Kowalski, R. M. (2002). Whining, griping, and complaining: Positivity in the negativity. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(9), 1023–1035. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10095
  2. Kim, E. J., Pellman, B., & Kim, J. J. (2015). Stress effects on the hippocampus: a critical review. Learning & Memory, 22(9), 411–416. https://doi.org/10.1101/lm.037291.114
  3. Cunha, L. F., Pellanda, L. C., & Reppold, C. T. (2019). Positive Psychology and Gratitude Interventions: A Randomized Clinical Trial. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00584
  4. Wang, X., & Song, C. (2023). The impact of gratitude interventions on patients with cardiovascular disease: a systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1243598

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Heal Through Writing: Powerful Journal Prompts for Healing and Self-Care https://www.thelifestylebook.com/journal-prompts-for-healing/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/journal-prompts-for-healing/#respond Thu, 09 Jan 2025 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=7036 Healing is a continuous process that entails reflection, self-awareness, and the readiness to explore our deeper feelings and thoughts. Journaling offers a special place for self-expression and a better understanding of ourselves while enabling us to work through pain toward embracing self-love and embarking on journeys of personal growth. Journal prompts are powerful tools if...

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Healing is a continuous process that entails reflection, self-awareness, and the readiness to explore our deeper feelings and thoughts. Journaling offers a special place for self-expression and a better understanding of ourselves while enabling us to work through pain toward embracing self-love and embarking on journeys of personal growth. Journal prompts are powerful tools if we search for means to grow and heal. They help us think more clearly, feel more confident, and connect with our inner selves. 

In this blog, we will explore various journal prompts, from self-confidence boosters to inner child healing and spiritual exploration, that can help you on your healing journey.

1. Self-Confidence Journal Prompts

Self-confidence is an important aspect of our mental well-being. It defines the way we perceive and relate to ourselves and the world. Writing in a journal about your self-confidence can allow you to develop a positive self, build self-esteem, and break all the negative beliefs about yourself.

The following prompts will help you feel more confident if you answer the below questions in your journal.

  • What three things do you most like about yourself, and what do they add to make you unique?
  • Think of a particular time when you felt very proud of yourself. What was it that you did? What qualities did you employ to make it a success?
  • What are some self-limiting thoughts that you’ve had, and how could you reword those thoughts in a more positive light?
  • What would you do differently if you completely believed in yourself?
  • What do you feel are your key achievements, and what is important about these achievements for you?
  • Define what success means to you, and discuss how your definition encompasses your values and self-worth.

2. Diary Writing Ideas for Personal Growth

Image source: Pexels

Achieving high results, being successful in a career, leading a luxurious life, etc. are not personal growth in their true meaning. Personal growth is when we evolve into the best version of ourselves. To bring more awareness on what the meaning of personal growth for you and what kind of growth can keep you content happy and at peace in the long run, it is important to explore your true intentions and wants. Through journaling, you can explore areas of growth, set intentions, and even track your progress over time.

Here are some diary-writing ideas for personal growth:

  • Define your recent challenge or any setback and what lesson did you learn from it?
  • What are your goals and ambitions for the upcoming year, and what actions do you plan to achieve them?
  • Name the person you admire and why you admire him or her. Which qualities does this person have that you would like to develop in yourself?
  • Any bad habits you want to get rid of, and what good habits do you think you must develop and why?
  • If someone criticizes you, do you react or respond?
  • What does it mean for you to live authentically, and do you have actions in mind to live like that?

These prompts help an individual reflect on growth, find areas that need more work, and thereby create an action plan toward personal transformation.

3. Inner Child Healing Prompts

Inner child healing is about reconnecting with the younger version of yourself, i.e. understanding the needs, hurts, and joys of this young part of yourself. This helps you nurture your inner child, and soothe him or her, thus healing old wounds and taking back parts of you that were suppressed.

Here are a few prompts to reconnect with your inner child:

  • Write a letter to your younger self. What does he or she need to hear right now?
  • What did you like most about being young? How can you bring some of those playful times into your life today?
  • Recall a time when, as a small child, you felt misunderstood or hurt. In what ways will you care for that part of yourself today?
  • What was your vision for yourself then, and how does your life today differ from that?
  • Now close your eyes and imagine your inner child speaking with you. What would he ask you, and how would you answer him?
  • What are some of your childhood fears, and how can you release those in your present life?

These questions are really helpful for a person to plunge deep inside themselves and may lead to the healing of emotional wounds of childhood.

4. Self-improvement Journal Prompts

Image source: Pexels

Self-improvement is the realization of areas we can grow in and making conscious efforts toward such improvements in our lives. Journaling about self-improvement helps to focus on goals and monitor progress.

Consider these prompts for self-improvement:

  • Where in your life do you feel stuck? What can you do to get going?
  • Describe your strengths. Then, think about how you might use this strength to help you improve in any area of your life.
  • Name one bad habit you’d like to break and identify a trigger for this habit.
  • Think about a time when you failed at something. What did you learn from that and how did you grow from it?
  • Name one skill you’d like to learn and state why this is an important skill for you.
  • How do you currently manage your time and what do you think could you adjust to be more productive?

These prompts will serve as a response to which you can bring clarity of vision in terms of your self-improvement goals and go further in the direction of attaining them.

5. Positive Journal Prompts

Positivity is a force that lightens up our mood, re-orients perspectives, and brings the feeling of gratitude. More than likely, positive journaling will let you shift the focus off the things stressing you and enable you to foster a more optimistic attitude toward life.

Here are some uplifting positive journal prompts:

  • State five things you are grateful for and why they mean something to you.
  • What is one thing that has happened to you recently that made you happy? Write about how it made you feel.
  • Name a person in your life for who you are grateful, and how has that person positively affected you?
  • In what ways can you spread goodness to others this week?
  • Think of one positive thing you’ve changed lately. How has this improved your life?
  • What is something you are looking forward to and why does it excite you?

The regular practice of positive journaling will help you focus your attention on the positives of life and build an attitude of thankfulness in your life which will keep you in positive energy to live life at its best.

6. Self-Discovery Journal Prompts

Self-discovery searches out who we are at our core, which are those things that are the real foundation of values, desires, and purpose. The ability to journal during times of self-discovery creates an outlet that is safe for exploring thoughts and feelings.

Some Self-Discovery Journal Prompts:

  • What are some of your core values, and how do those show up in your decision-making or actions?
  • What makes you most alive, and how will you bring that into your day-to-day more?
  • What do you feel is the purpose of your life, and how do you pursue it?
  • How do you define success and happiness for yourself?
  • What was one major limiting belief you have held of yourself and how can you release it?
  • What’s one thing recently you learned about yourself?

Through self-discovery journaling, you’ll gain greater clarity about your identity and purpose.

7. Self-Love Questions

Image source: Pexels

Self-love is the art of treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect. It is about one valuing his or her self-worth and taking good care of oneself according to one’s needs.

Journaling will help you nourish self-love: developing a deeper love for yourself. Try answering these questions in your journal:

  • How do you practice self-care, and what are some new self-care rituals that you can start in your life?
  • Describe something you have accomplished recently. What does that say about you that you could feel proud of?
  • List some of the things you say to yourself that aren’t very positive and how could those be re-written as positive affirmations.
  • What do you really like about your body? How might you take better care of, and further appreciate it?
  • How do you overcome those feelings of doubt in your abilities, and how can you treat yourself with a little more kindness?
  • What boundaries have you found or will need to set for protection to take better care of your life and peacefulness?

Maturity of self-worth is realized with self-love journaling and understanding the value of taking good care of oneself.

8. Spiritual Journal Prompts

Image source: Pexels

Spirituality has different meanings and values to different people, but talking widely, spirituality is a sense of connection to something bigger than us. Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or seeking meaning in life, spiritual journal prompts can be a helpful way to explore your beliefs and values.

Here are some great spiritual journal prompts:

  • How about defining spirituality? What is spirituality to you, and what role does it play in everyday living?
  • A time when you felt most connected to the universe or a higher power changed in your perspective?
  • What are some of the things that you do that help you feel more grounded and centered in your spirituality?
  • How does your spiritual journey influence how you navigate ups and downs in life?
  • What are your beliefs on the purpose of life, and how do those lead your actions?
  • Describe in detail your spiritual experience in life that created the biggest impact.

These may allow you to tap into a deeper connection with your spiritual awareness or a strong connection to your belief systems.

9. Self-Care Journal Prompts

Self-care is vital to create balance and well-being. A self-care journal may remind you why self-care is important and may even set you up to create an intentional practice of taking care of yourself.

Now try these self-care journal prompts:

  • What is it that rejuvenates you, and how might you include more of this in your life?
  • How do you know when you need self-care, and what signs should you look for?
  • What are three things you can do today to attend to your mental and emotional well-being?
  • Reflect on a time when you didn’t take care of yourself. How did that feel to you, and what can you learn from it?
  • What boundaries can you create to make time for your self-care?
  • How does taking care of yourself show up in other areas of your life?

Using these prompts will help in creating a self-care practice that is consistent in nourishing the mind, body, and spirit.

Key Insights

Writing a Journal is undoubtedly a powerful way to heal, grow, and reflect in all spheres of your life. Whether it’s building self-confidence, exploring your future career options, healing your inner child, or exploring your spirituality, journaling gives you an opportunity where you can process your feelings and set intentions. By practicing these journal prompts, you will be able to nurture yourself in the true sense and will walk on the right path for amazing results in every aspect of your life. To enjoy life at its best and to understand and accept the ups and downs of life in the most beautiful and challenging form, let journaling be your guide.

FAQs

1. What do you write in a healing journal?

A healing journal is one in which you write down your feelings, thoughts, and experiences to process and release difficult emotions. You can reflect on personal challenges, express gratitude, or explore your desires and fears. It’s a space to explore unresolved pain, celebrate progress, and find clarity about your healing journey. Writing down positive memories and reflecting on self-compassion are also parts of a healing journal.

2. What are journal prompts for mental health trauma?

Journal prompts for mental health trauma focus on processing painful experiences and finding strength. Examples are, “What is one thing that happened in your past that you are still carrying with you today?” or “For what do you need to forgive yourself?” Others might be, “How has the trauma affected the way you see yourself?” or “What coping mechanisms have been most helpful for you in times of difficulty?” The questions offer an opportunity to explore emotions as a beginning of healing safely.

3. How do I start a self-healing journal?

The way to start a self-healing journal is by creating a private space in which you are comfortable to write anything, freely. Set an intention: “I want to heal my emotional wound,” or “I want to rise in self-love.” You can start by responding to some healing prompts such as, “What part in my life needs healing?” or “What must I let go of so I may feel peace?” Don’t judge yourself, and see consistency in the due course of time.

4. What are some good journal prompts?

Good journaling prompts are those that call for deep reflection and awareness of one’s self. For instance, prompts like “What are you most grateful for today?” or “What fear is holding you back?” dig deep into your emotions. Others include “What does self-love mean to you?” or “What’s a recent challenge you’ve overcome, and how did you grow from it?”. These types of prompts will spark thoughtful responses that can lead to emotional healing.

References

1. Livingstone, Meghan. “How to Start Journaling.” Meghan Livingstone, https://www.meghanlivingstone.com/blog/how-to-start-journaling. Accessed 4 Jan. 2025.

2. Building Self-Esteem by Changing Negative Thoughts. MentalHealth.com, https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/building-self-esteem-by-changing-negative-thoughts. Accessed 4 Jan. 2025.

3. Constantinou, Theodora. “The Power of Journaling.” Theodora Constantinou, https://www.theodoraconstantinou.com/blog-posts/the-power-of-journaling. Accessed 4 Jan. 2025.

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How to Clear Negative Energy from Home: 11 Simple Steps for a Peaceful Sanctuary https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-clear-negative-energy-from-home-11-simple-steps-for-a-peaceful-sanctuary/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-clear-negative-energy-from-home-11-simple-steps-for-a-peaceful-sanctuary/#respond Mon, 09 Dec 2024 10:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=6742 We know that everything has its own energy or vibe. We, as humans, radiate our own energy, which is influenced by our thoughts and feelings. Similarly, our homes as personal sanctuaries carry their energy too. Like us, they also absorb the feelings, thoughts, and different experiences of everyone who enters them. But sometimes, our homes...

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Clear Negative Energy from Home
Image by  Ismaili Fjori 

We know that everything has its own energy or vibe. We, as humans, radiate our own energy, which is influenced by our thoughts and feelings. Similarly, our homes as personal sanctuaries carry their energy too. Like us, they also absorb the feelings, thoughts, and different experiences of everyone who enters them. But sometimes, our homes can also accumulate negative energy. Fortunately, there are many ways to clear negative energy from your home, especially when it feels overwhelming. 

So, let’s dive into the methods. But first, let’s identify the signs that indicate your space might be harboring that negative energy in the first place.

What Are the Symptoms of Negative Energy in the Home? 

Negative energy in homes usually means accumulating a lot of negative thoughts or vibrations, which creates an unpleasant or stressful atmosphere in the house. While it might not always be obvious when this shift happens, many indicators can lead to these unwelcome changes. For example, 

  • Unexplained Uneasiness in Home: We all expect our homes to be places where we can be at peace and our worries disappear.  Yet there are times when the “air” or the “atmosphere” of the house feels changed and heavy. You might feel your home is no longer welcoming and friendly.
  • Clutter: Clutter is never good and is considered a physical inconvenience hindering positive energy. There are even some studies that suggest a cluttered environment can bring feelings of imbalance and negativity.  So look around and see if you have a lot of mess, like broken items or furniture in the house. They are actual signs of negative energy.
  • Anxiety and Mental Disturbance: If you feel like you are never relaxed at home or find yourself in a constant state of zero thinking and anxiety building up on you, there is negative energy around you. Even resting on the tiniest inconvenience can be an indicator. 
  • Frequent Arguments and Tension: Negative energy can affect relationships in your home. If there are increased conflicts, arguments, and misunderstandings among family members, it could be because negative energy affects how everyone gets along. 
  • Physical Symptoms: There are some physical signs of negative energy in home, too, like headaches for no specific reason. You feel drained all the time and, sometimes, even more than when you went to bed.
  • Insomnia: Do you find it difficult to sleep or wake up frequently at night? Negative energy is to blame. Insomnia is one of the most obvious signs of negative energy in house. 

How to Detect Negative Energy in a House?

While no definite negative energy detector exists, some experts have used a few methods. 

One popular technique is the saltwater method, commonly employed by spiritual practitioners. To try this method, 

  • Fill a bowl with water and add a generous amount of sea salt, but don’t mix it. 
  • Place the bowl in the room where you feel negative energy or discomfort, and leave it for 24 hours. 
  • After this period, check the water for changes. If it appears to be cloudy or has bubbles in it, it can indicate negative energy in the room. 

Another method rooted in Vastu Indian tradition uses lemon as a negative energy detector. Simply dip the lemon into the water and observe its movement. If the lemon sinks, it can be considered a sign of negative energy in house.

Best Ways to Clear Negative Energy From Home

Now, let’s explore some tried and tested ways to clear negative energy from home and foster a more uplifting environment.

1. Invite Positive Energy With Intention 

The first and foremost thing is to have an intention of clearing negative energy from home. Since the energy begins from within, start by thinking about yourself. What negative thoughts or traumatic events from the past are you still holding on to? It’s important for your health that you acknowledge these thoughts. 


Then, extend the same intention to your home. Try to listen to your home’s energy and respond to it. Use positive affirmations to release negative energy, like “My home is a safe and peaceful place” or “I invite positivity and happiness to this place.” You can also visualize that every corner of your home is filled with a bright white light that pushes out every negative thing.

2. Let the Fresh Air Inn

Photo by RDNE Stock project

A few minutes of fresh air can also linger out the negative energy. So, what you can do is open up all the curtains, windows, and doors and let the light and air in through them. Plenty of sunlight getting inside the room will also lift your mood. While you are at it, shake the room’s rugs, pillows, and cushions.

3. Tidy Up

Cleaning the clutter can be the most effective method to remove negative energy from the house. It also makes it easier to find things. 

So start at the front door and follow up clockwise around the house. Clean up any mess or clutter around the floor or tables. Make sure you discard anything that is not required. You can also try something as basic as rearranging the furniture, which creates a more open and flowing space for positive energy to radiate.

4. Clean Home With Salt 

This might be new to you, but salt has been the best energy-clearing agent for centuries. To remove negative energy from the home with salt, just sprinkle some sea salt in all corners of the room or home. It helps to create a barrier from which negative energy cannot enter. Then remove the salt after 2 days, either by sweeping or vacuuming, and replace it with fresh salt. You can also mop floors with salt and water as a home cleansing ritual. 

Placing salt lamps can serve a similar purpose and contribute to a positive and peaceful ambience.

5.  Put Some House Plants 

Plants are natural energy purifiers and also remove toxins from the air, so using them to clear negative energy from the house can be beneficial. 

Place easy-to-care indoor plants with rounded leaves, such as money plants, peace lilies, English ivy, and lavenders. The best areas to keep them are the entrance, hallways, living room, or anywhere else you feel like to balance out energy dynamics. 

For outdoors, you can choose from jasmine, bamboo, aloe vera, and spider plants. Some people also suggest placing lemon and chilli pants at the front door or in the garden. They suggest that this combination will protect your “safe space.”

6. Protect Your Space With Crystals 

The next tip on the list of ways to remove negative energy from home is using healing crystals. These crystals, though used as gems, but can also tend to clear negative energy from home and encourage a positive flow of energy. 

The most popular healing crystals are black tourmaline, rose quartz, and hematite. Experts recommend placing them above the door entrances or near electronic devices. Just make sure to clean them periodically from the energy they gather. Some other cleansing crystals include amethyst, jade, and selenite.

7. Incorporate Aromatherapy 

Aromatherapy is another excellent addition to the list, as aromas have a reputation for uplifting moods. To get started, consider using essential oils like orange, lavender, jasmine, and eucalyptus. Add a few drops of these oils to a diffuser and let that aroma disperse in space. 

Alternatively, you can create a refreshing mist by mixing water and a few drops of aroma oils and witch hazel in a spray bottle. Mist this spray around your home, especially in the areas where you feel that energy. These aromas not only help to but also enhance relaxation and create a serene environment. Additionally, you can also use scented candles of your choice to clear negative energy from home.

8. Burn Some Herbs to Clear Negative Energy From Home

Photo by KoolShooters

Burning herbs is an ancient Native American practice to remove negative energy, with sage being the most popular choice. 

To perform it, light up a bunch of sage and let it smolder until it makes a steady stream of smoke. Then start at the front door and work your way around the house clockwise, focused on your goal of cleaning as you go. As you cleanse, repeat positive affirmations to enhance the process. Remember to open windows, allowing negative energy to exit and fresh air to enter.

If sage isn’t suitable for you, there are alternatives to sage for cleansing negative energy, such as sweetgrass, cinnamon, cedarwood, or Palo Santo. If you have asthma or are really sensitive to smoke, then don’t try this method. Instead, use any other method that is easy for you.

9. Use Color to Clear Negative Energy From Home 

The colors we surround ourselves with greatly impact home and can even bring therapeutic benefits.  Particularly when it comes to bright colors, they have the power to remove negativity and bring in an air of happiness. 

So opt for colors such as yellow, orange, light blue, cream, and white shades in your home decorations. Paint the walls with the colors or hang up artwork that makes you cheerful and brings positive energy.

In addition to choosing uplifting colors, there are some color-related Vastu tips to remove negative energy from home. They suggest 

  • Northwest, North, Northeast: Blue
  • East: Green
  • Southeast: Orange
  • Southwest: Red
  • West: Dark Blue

10. Make Use of Healing Sounds

Like herbs and plants, sound can move energy around and can turn negative energy into positive energy. 

So, to clear negative energy from home, choose something that makes a pleasant but powerful noise. Wind chimes and bells are excellent options; place them near doors and windows to help circulate positive energy. You can also use a handheld bell; ringing it throughout your home can help you ward off any unwanted energy.

Alternatively, you can play sounds like Tibetan singing bowls, wind chimes, or soothing music on YouTube. Just playing them for a few minutes can be highly effective and boost energy and vibrations in your home.

11. Set Up a Home Altar 

Lastly, setting up an altar can be an excellent way to rid your home of negative energy and bring in positive energy. This altar can have items that are believed to bring good fortune, wealth, and safety. So you can keep items like candles, flowers, crystals, and literature as per your religion. 

Take time to sit by your altar, meditate, or reflect on your intentions. And regularly clean and maintain it by changing flowers or adding new items. This will keep the energy fresh and vibrant.

Summing It Up

Our living spaces are more than just physical structures; they also contain all sorts of energies, some uplifting while others not. But if you follow some of the simple practices mentioned above, such as opening windows to let the fresh air in, decluttering, and smudging sage, you can shift energy and invite positive energy and peace into your home. 

Remember that energy in your home is a reflection of your inner space. So don’t wait and take action! Choose a few techniques that resonate with you and start implementing them today! 

If you find this information helpful, don’t forget to check out my article How to Relax Your Mind to Sleep for the best research-based insights and tips!

FAQs

What are the signs of negative energy in a house?

Signs of negative energy include an unexplained sense of unease or heaviness in the atmosphere, clutter everywhere, persistent anxiety, and frequent arguments among family members. If there are some physical symptoms like constant headaches, fatigue, or insomnia, then it might also be a sign that there’s negative energy lingering around. 

How do I remove negative energy from my house?

There are many ways to remove negative energy from your home. They include opening windows and doors, cleaning up the mess, using salt to create a barrier against negativity, burning herbs like sage or palo santo, and placing houseplants for natural purification. 

What can I burn in my house to remove negativity?

Burning herbs like sage,  palo santo, sweetgrass, or cinnamon is an effective way to clear negative energy from home. When burning, be sure to focus on your intentions for removing negativity and allow the smoke to fill the space.

Which mantra removes negativity from house?

There are positive affirmations like “My home is a safe and positive space,” or, as per Vastu, repeating “O shanti”  can help shift the energy in your environment.

References 

  1. Arakelyan, Hayk. (2021). Negative Energy,Signs, Negative Environment, People and Health.. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/354161608_Negative_EnergySigns_Negative_Environment_People_and_Health
  2. Rogers, C. J., & Hart, R. (2021). Home and the extended-self: Exploring associations between clutter and wellbeing. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 73, 101553. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jenvp.2021.101553
  3. Khan, R., & Kamal, M. A. (2023). Analyzing the Role of Indoor Plants in the Design of Interior Spaces. American Journal of Civil Engineering and Architecture, 11(4), 120–126. https://doi.org/10.12691/ajcea-11-4-3
  4. Ishaque, S., Saleem, T., & Qidwai, W. (2009). Knowledge, attitudes and practices regarding gemstone therapeutics in a selected adult population in Pakistan. BMC Complementary and Alternative Medicine, 9(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/1472-6882-9-32 
  5. Babakhani, R. (2017). Color and Light in Architecture and its Effects on Spirits of Space Users in a Psychological View. Journal of Architectural Engineering Technology, 06(01). https://doi.org/10.4172/2168-9717.1000184 

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How to Feel Safe in Your Body — Tips to Regulate Your Nervous System https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-feel-safe-in-your-body/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/how-to-feel-safe-in-your-body/#respond Mon, 21 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=6022 A lot of things can turn your brain into a noisy place — fear, stress, trauma, or even your day-to-day activities. And before you catch the drift, you find yourself overthinking about anything and everything. You feel disconnected from yourself and feel like your body is betraying you. Your heart starts racing for no goddamn...

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Source

A lot of things can turn your brain into a noisy place — fear, stress, trauma, or even your day-to-day activities. And before you catch the drift, you find yourself overthinking about anything and everything. You feel disconnected from yourself and feel like your body is betraying you. Your heart starts racing for no goddamn reason, and suddenly, you question yourself, “Why do I feel so unsafe in my body?”

Does this situation sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Feeling safe in your own body sometimes feels like a distant dream. It happens for a number of reasons, be it an overwhelming moment at the workplace, rocky relationships, or physical discomfort. These feelings get a hold of you when they are least expected, and getting out of them seems almost impossible. 

But you know what? You don’t have to stay or feel that way. When you feel yourself getting caught up in the whirlwind of overthinking, tell yourself, “It’s not me, it’s my brain acting up— and I can control it.

Why You Don’t Feel Safe in Your Body

Before we talk about how to make your nervous system feel safe, let’s understand the difference between a regulated and a dysregulated nervous system.

Do you ever feel like your body’s stress response is out of control? Do you feel overly anxious or even numb and react to routine activities like they’re a do-or-die thing? Trust me, there are a lot of people feeling that way. The feeling that your emotions are running the show instead of you is pretty common. These are some of the symptoms of emotional dysregulation.

Now, why does this happen? Dysregulation means when your nervous system constantly sends distress signals to your brain, making you feel uncomfortable and catastrophic even in minor situations. Rather than feeling safe or at peace, your body shifts into survival mode, trying to shield you from perceived threats — threats that are not actually present. This explains why situations like a small disagreement or the fear of missing a deadline can make you feel as if your whole world is turning upside down.

On the flip side, when your nervous system is regulated, it brings your body back into balance and makes you feel grounded. The regulation allows you to handle everyday stressors — work pressure or personal conflicts — without feeling anxious or overwhelmed. It helps you calm down your nervous system, making you feel safe in your body. You start processing your emotions in a healthy way, making informed decisions, and regaining control. In this state, you create a safe space for yourself and don’t feel the need to run from your feelings. If you are able to do that, that’s when true body healing starts. 

Now let’s understand how to make your nervous system feel safe and ultimately, feel safe within yourself regardless of external circumstances and past traumas.

Tips to Regulate Your Nervous System

Let’s explore some of the proven tricks to relax your nervous system and settle down instantly. These powerful techniques work best at managing stress and anxiety from childhood trauma. So, to feel safe within yourself and be able to control your triggers, it is essential to stay open to these tips.

Source

Notice that You Feel Triggered

Easier said than done, right? But when you get triggered by something, notice it and accept it. This will help. As soon as you start heeding what sets off your triggers, you will catch them faster each time than you did before. 

The idea? Once you realize that you are triggered or dysregulated, you will become more aware of your emotional and physical imbalances and learn to manage them before they get worse. Don’t be a jumpy cat and start confronting people or making big decisions. Give yourself a break and wait for your nervous system (aka brain) to get stable after you have processed the trigger.

Say What You Feel

Noticed it? Good! Now acknowledge it and say to yourself “Yes, I’m feeling triggered.” You don’t have to specifically tell other people what you are feeling, it’s about you recognizing that something is indeed affecting you.

Simply saying it in your brain will help you differentiate between the triggered part of you and the one that knows how to react in that situation. This will help you get back in gear and give you time to process your thoughts and emotions more effectively.

Make Sure You’re Safe

First things first, stop whatever you are doing and ensure your safety. If you are driving, pull over. If you are a part of a heated conversation, hit the pause. Get into the “I want to continue this, but I need a moment for myself” mode. There is no reason to feel bad doing so, you are giving yourself time to settle down or re-regulate. 

Moreover, if you are getting this urge to keep doing whatever you are doing, remind yourself that it’s not you—It’s the trigger talking. In such situations, you must give yourself more time to relax to feel safe in your body.

Breathe Your Way Back

Breathing can take away stress and calm you down. So, take 10-12 slow, deep breaths because they will activate your body’s natural relaxation responses. While this practice is probably a known fact, a quick reminder can be helpful.

Now how to do it! While breathing, push your tongue against the back of your teeth. I mentioned this because it will bring more awareness to your body and locate your sense of presence. It’s an easy technique to reconnect yourself to the central part of the body, bringing a sense of self-awareness back into your body.

Related Article: Breathe Your Way to Better Health: Benefits of Breathwork and How It Works

Sing, Hum, or Whistle

Yes, yes, I know some of you might find it a bit weird but singing and humming help reduce stress, promote calmness, and boost your overall well-being. 

Whether it’s belting out your favorite song, singing in the shower, starting your morning with a few minutes of humming, or practicing mindful melodies — all these practical activities can do wonders for your nervous system. Singing, humming, and whistling help you take slower, deeper out-breaths, which shifts your mind into a more relaxed, happier state and power up your spirits.

Grab Some Protein

According to a study, under acute stress conditions, the human body craves carbs and sugary content. But actually, it’s the protein that helps you feel relaxed and grounded. Protein-rich foods stabilize your mood and energy levels and reconnect you with your body.

So, the next time you feel triggered or stressed, treat yourself with nuts, yogurt, or some eggs to help you feel more centered. 

Source

Take a Cold Shower

Save this technique if you have a full-blown meltdown — you can get a reset of your brain by taking a cold shower. Now, I’m not saying jump into an icy cold like you’re training for a polar plunge—  just that “oh my God” kind of cold that wakes up your nervous system.

Remember, it’s not just a mood lifter, cold water gives you an abundance of energy boost. A cheap, powerful, and an easy technique to get your spirits up.

Nature

I love this one personally. Stressed or not, green spaces work wonders. They have the ability to bring a sense of indescribable calmness— it’s like nature’s own version of a deep breath. According to research, taking a stroll in nature, compared to urban walks, can significantly reduce stress hormone cortisol by 12.4%, sympathetic nerve activity by 7%, and heart rate by approximately 6%.

So, indulge yourself in activities like gardening or bird-watching. And if stepping outside is not feasible, looking out the window can still help. The idea is to connect with nature and find your inner self. These activities will not just decrease your anxiety and stress but also help you feel safe in your body.

Final Thoughts

With these techniques, you are ready to tackle any emotional trigger that comes your way —  be it the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or as little as getting a parking ticket or the nervousness before a Zoom interview. Having these tips at your fingertips can help you get back on track and feel safe in the world around you.

The sooner you acknowledge your triggers, the faster you can overlook the things that set them off, and you can quickly regain your footing. As a result, you can use your focus on other important things. Once you get a hang of it, life will be easier and freer for you, and you can make decisions confidently. That’s when you can truly feel safe in your body.

Never forget that healing is very much possible. The only thing is going in the right direction.

In the end, I’d like to add a question for you. If you were good at re-regulating your nervous system, what difference it would have made in your life?

FAQs

What are the signs that show that my body is experiencing dysregulation?

Signs of dysregulation vary from person to person. Some may feel heightened anxiety, racing heart, or feeling overwhelmed even with daily tasks, while others may feel disconnected from their bodies or undergo emotional breakdown. If any of these signs fit your situation, use the above-mentioned techniques to feel more grounded.

How can I create a safe space for myself when I feel dysregulated or triggered?

As mentioned in the post, the first step to creating a safe space is to notice your triggers and accept them. Try to remove yourself from the situation and practice grounding techniques like deep breathing, humming, or start doing activities that you love. This could include gardening, listening to your favorite singer, meditation, or simply taking a stroll in nature. All these techniques can help revitalize a sense of safety in your body.

Does nutrition play any role in feeling safe in my body?

Indeed, and a very significant one! Foods packed in omega-3 fatty acids (fish, chia seeds, flax seeds, etc.) have been linked to reducing stress levels. Protein-rich items help balance blood sugar levels, regulate emotions, and reduce cravings for sugary food, improving mental health and overall well-being.

How can I feel safe in my body by practicing mindfulness? 

Mindfulness is the process of paying attention to the present without judgment. Techniques include mindful breathing, meditation, or a body scan in order to reconnect with your body and emotions.

For example, during a body scan, you systematically pay attention to different parts of your body, acknowledging any tension or discomfort. This practice can help you cultivate awareness and promote a sense of safety, making it easier to manage stress and anxiety.

References:

Thompson Ross A., “Emotion dysregulation: A theme in search of definition”, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31030684/

Sheppes Gal, Suri James, and Gross James J., “Emotion regulation and psychopathology” https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25581242/

Lemmens Sofia G., Born Jurriaan M., Martens Eveline A., and Martens Mieke J. “Influence of Consumption of a High-Protein vs. High-Carbohydrate Meal on the Physiological Cortisol and Psychological Mood Response in Men and Women”, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3033415/#:~:text=Firk%20et%20al.%20[20]%20showed%20that%20intake,dampened%20the%20cortisol%20response%20to%20acute%20stress 

Park Bum Jin, Tsunetsugu Yuko, Kasetani Tamami, Kagawa Takahide, and Miyazaki Yoshifumi. “The physiological effects of Shinrin-yoku (taking in the forest atmosphere or forest bathing): evidence from field experiments in 24 forests across Japan”, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2793346/

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Childhood Trauma and Relationships: How Do They Impact Each Other? https://www.thelifestylebook.com/childhood-trauma-and-relationships/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/childhood-trauma-and-relationships/#respond Thu, 17 Oct 2024 10:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=5946 Did you grow up feeling like an invisible person? Were your needs as a child never met? Or was your home filled with chaos and emotional distance between you and your parents? You might be surprised to know that events from your early life can continue to shadow your life later as an adult. Even...

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Childhood Trauma and Relationships
Photo by Anna Shvets

Did you grow up feeling like an invisible person? Were your needs as a child never met? Or was your home filled with chaos and emotional distance between you and your parents? You might be surprised to know that events from your early life can continue to shadow your life later as an adult. Even research suggests that there is a connection between childhood trauma and relationships. 

What that means for example is if you have had any abandonment issues in childhood, you might be drawn to unhealthy relationships as an adult or maybe can’t open up to someone. 

This article will discuss how these childhood traumas affect adult relationships. We will also talk about how to handle these issues and what it looks like to work through them so that relationships can be safer and more rewarding. 

So let’s get started!

What is Childhood Trauma? 

As the name suggests, childhood traumas are the “bad” happenings or events we experience or witness as children. It can be anything from being bullied in class, feeling neglected by parents, or feeling abandoned by loved ones. Not only this but sometimes traumatic experiences such as witnessing a natural disaster or violence can also cause an impact. 

Such traumatic events can inflict lifelong harm on our inner child and, in return, can have a significant impact on who we are and how we act as adults. 

We already know by now that if you have suffered from trauma during the early years of your life, then the odds are that you might look at and experience adult relationships in a certain way. In fact, the impact is much more profound even years later. 

Research has shown that average childhood experiences are much more common and acknowledged and can have a massive effect on mental health even after 50 years! It means that a child’s emotional pain isn’t temporary. It can have its imprint on their brains and hearts and carry the burden throughout life until addressed. 

How Childhood Trauma in Early Relationships Affects Adult Connections

There are myriad ways that childhood trauma could impact the way you experience your adult relationships. 

Fear of Abandonment 

Those of you who have had a traumatic childhood of a parent leaving or neglecting your needs may have a fear of abandonment in adulthood. This can sometimes trigger internal negative feelings and emotions about yourself or others. You may feel deeply afraid to be abandoned by a loved one. This can also manifest as asking for approval and praise or being too clingy to your partner and constantly wanting validation, love, and attention.

Trust Issues 

Trusting others is a very common issue that people face when they reach adulthood. When a child feels wronged or neglected by any of the caregivers or parents, they learn that the people they trust the most can also hurt them. 

Such a feeling of mistrust lingers to adulthood and makes a person suspicious of everything. In such cases, you may prevent people from being a part of your life and have difficulty forming meaningful relationships. You may also find it challenging to believe your partner when they say they love you, care for you, respect your boundaries and conditions, etc. 

Attachment Styles

In early childhood, a secure attachment develops within loving and stable relationships in which your emotional and practical needs are met, offering a kind of oasis in times of distress.

However, when your early childhood experiences are marked by abandonment and neglect, your ability to form such secure attachments is disrupted. This results in attachment injuries and, mostly, avoidant or anxious attachment styles. Even research proves the fact that students who had bad experiences such as trauma, neglect, and abuse as children had preoccupied or dismissive attachment styles as adults.

Communicational Difficulties

Communication is the key to any relationship, but if you had a traumatic childhood, then it can also affect how you communicate. 

You may have also noticed that you sometimes cannot express how you feel or avoid talking at all. Or you may lash out at people close to you when you feel attacked because this is how you learned to survive in childhood. Such behaviors can lead to misunderstandings and arguments in platonic and romantic relationships or even in work environments. 

Avoidance of Sexual Intimacy

Traumatic experiences in childhood can also affect adult relationships, especially when it comes to intimacy or sexual closeness. If a child goes through a negative experience that makes them realize they cannot trust their caretaker, they might think the world is scary and people are dangerous and therefore not want to get close and intimate with others. 

As they become adults, they have trouble making healthy sexual connections with their partners. They feel they are not worthy of being loved or feel anxious and disconnected during intimacy.

Difficulty in Parenting Your Children

While not so much addressed, your traumatic childhood can also affect how you parent your future children. It is because healthy parenting involves managing your emotions, and those who haven’t processed their issues may find it challenging.

For example, if your child needs to ask you something and you feel stressed about their constant questioning, you respond to him angrily. Then, your child can take it as a sign of rejection and end up feeling abandoned, just as you did when you were younger.

All of these can also be considered as symptoms of childhood trauma in adulthood and need to be addressed.

Healing and Moving Forward—Overcoming Your Childhood Trauma

If you don’t address your childhood traumas, your romantic relationships suffer from the consequences. So, start your recovery by learning to heal your wounded inner child. 

Here are some of the best methods to address your childhood trauma and relationships for a better adult life. 

1. Identify What Triggers You

If you want to be healed from your childhood trauma for a better relationship, then you need to find what your triggers are. Try to ask yourself: Do you feel abandoned by your partner or by a family member? A significant step is becoming aware of these triggers. 

Also, you must express them to your loved ones when you identify them. You may try sharing one by one and see how it feels. Remember, nobody can read your mind, so tell them that these things usually make you feel neglected or abandoned. In this way, you and them can work together to figure out the best solution. 

2. Look For Couples Therapy 

Now that your partner understands your feelings and emotions, looking for couples therapy can be a valuable step. Couples therapy is a safe space for you and your partner to express your thoughts and feelings. It also allows you to explore the impact of childhood trauma on your relationship dynamics.  

This method of healing from childhood trauma and relationships has been found super helpful in healing wounds and pain from the past. Therapists are your great resource in this case. They can guide you and your partner through processing the wounded past and moving on with more positive coping skills for better relationships. 

There is no shame in seeking professional support to help you heal from your past traumas and therefore get closer to your partner.

3. Try Butterfly Hugging

Sometimes, you don’t feel like sharing your emotions, and that’s okay. But the body and brain still remember the trauma, so one thing you can do here is to hug yourself. 

This is a technique developed by psychologists as a part of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming (EMDR) therapy. The butterfly hug method provides a comforting touch and warm feeling we get from hugging another person. It also helps to calm down anxiety and gives you a sense of security. To perform it, 

  • Sit comfortably and cross your arms, wrapping your hands around your shoulders. 
  • Gently squeeze and take deep breaths to relax yourself. 
  • Now close your eyes and imagine comforting your inner child, offering the love and care you once missed. 

4. Heal the Child Inside You 

Another thing you can try is to heal the inner wounded child that has had all the traumas you are facing the consequences of. 

Start by thinking about the event you’re trying to get over. Then imagine that a younger version of yourself is meeting the adult version of yourself right now. Now, try to calm the wounded inner child by offering the love and care it needs. Or be the elder you wish you had when you were a kid. Keep practicing it. 

And if you are on this journey of healing your inner child, be sure to check out my article on Healing Inner Child Wounds. It is packed with prompts, powerful affirmations, and book recommendations to help you build healthier and deeper relationships. 

5. Don’t Forget to Love Yourself 

While you crave love and attachment from others, it is also important to remember that you are worthy of being loved. You are also capable of loving yourself and having healthy relationships. Even if you have been neglected or not given importance in childhood, it doesn’t mean you will also have a bad relationship as an adult. So, just abandon the labels that you may hold for yourself or think that you cannot be fixed after your past experiences.  

It is also important to heal the aspects of you that are wounded so as not to attract relationships that mirror your wounding. This tends to happen as a way to mirror to us what needs healing and then prompt us to heal.

6. Seeking Support 

We cannot emphasize how much it is important to seek help in such situations. When you feel alone and left out, always seek help from your partner, family, friends, support groups, or psychologists. It is like having a group of people rooting for you and telling you that you got this. So, make an effort to save your relationships and seek help from them as a part of healing. 

While following all of this, it is essential to remember that your past doesn’t define who you are. Yes, they were part of your life, but so are your present and future. If you want to heal your past, you have to acknowledge it and take baby steps for healing. 

Summing it Up 

In the end, healing from childhood trauma is important in order to build healthy relationships as an adult. 

The first step is understanding what triggers you and effectively communicating it to your loved ones. Going to couples therapy can be very helpful, and butterfly hugging is one way to get in touch with your inner child. 

All these methods are beneficial, even if you are dating someone with childhood trauma. Share this article with them, and don’t forget to let us know your thoughts! 

FAQs

How does childhood trauma affect relationships? (Romantic and Platonic)

Childhood trauma can lead to trust issues, difficulty in relationships, and unhealthy attachment styles in both platonic and romantic relationships. It can also lead to fear of abandonment or a replay of the past trauma.  

Can you heal from childhood trauma while in a relationship?

Yes, it is very much possible to heal from childhood trauma with a positive relationship. Understanding and open communication between partners and mutual support is the key. 

How does unresolved childhood trauma affect relationships?

Unresolved childhood trauma can have adverse effects on adult relationships, like feeling abandoned, irregular behavior, and pushing loved ones away. Recognizing these effects is the first step toward healing and building healthier connections.

Can two people with childhood trauma be in a relationship?

Yes, two people who suffered from childhood trauma can be in a relationship. It is essential for both to recognize each other’s experiences and be willing to heal. Also, open communication and empathy can help them grow and create a healthy relationship. 

References 

  1. Huh, Hyu Jung, et al. “Childhood trauma and adult interpersonal relationship problems in patients with depression and anxiety disorders.” Annals of General Psychiatry, vol. 13, no. 1, Sept. 2014, https://doi.org/10.1186/s12991-014-0026-y.
  2. Dalvie, Shareefa, and Nikolaos P. Daskalakis. “The Biological Effects of Trauma.” Complex Psychiatry, vol. 7, no. 1–2, Jan. 2021, pp. 16–18. https://doi.org/10.1159/000517236.
  3. APA PsycNet. psycnet.apa.org/record/2005-05449-005.
  4. Marici, Marius, et al. “Is Rejection, Parental Abandonment or Neglect a Trigger for Higher Perceived Shame and Guilt in Adolescents?” Healthcare, vol. 11, no. 12, June 2023, p. 1724. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare11121724.
  5. Yilmaz, Hasan, et al. “The effect of traumatic experiences on attachment styles.” Anales De Psicología, vol. 38, no. 3, Aug. 2022, pp. 489–98. https://doi.org/10.6018/analesps.489601.
  6. Lange, Brittany C. L., et al. “Adverse Childhood Experiences and Their Relation to Parenting Stress and Parenting Practices.” Community Mental Health Journal, vol. 55, no. 4, Sept. 2018, pp. 651–62. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10597-018-0331-z.
  7. MacIntosh, Heather B. “Developmental couple therapy for complex trauma: Results of an implementation pilot study.” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, vol. 50, no. 3, May 2024, pp. 545–66. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12711.
  8. “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy.” https://www.apa.org, 25 May 2017, www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing.
  9. Artigas, Lucina, and Ignacio Jarero. The Butterfly Hug Method for Bilateral Stimulation. Sept. 2014, emdrfoundation.org/toolkit/butterfly-hug.pdf

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Healing Inner Child Wounds- The Best Techniques, Affirmations and Prompts https://www.thelifestylebook.com/healing-inner-child/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/healing-inner-child/#respond Fri, 11 Oct 2024 16:00:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=5863 We often take childhood as a memory of being carefree and all-fun and play. But there are also some memories that can change us forever. Negative or upsetting events can stay with us and change how we act even after we have grown up. In fact, about 40% of people worldwide report being affected by...

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Photo by Zeyneb Alishova

We often take childhood as a memory of being carefree and all-fun and play. But there are also some memories that can change us forever. Negative or upsetting events can stay with us and change how we act even after we have grown up. In fact, about 40% of people worldwide report being affected by adverse childhood experiences. This idea of holding on to our younger selves is known as the ‘inner child,’ and often involves healing inner child wounds to address past emotional pain.

This article is all about healing inner child wounds, we will also suggest thought-provoking books, helpful prompts, and affirmations to help you on your way.

Why is Healing the Inner Child Important? 

While most of us are unaware of this, healing our inner child is essential for who we are as adults. Many of us have childhood wounds that affect how we think, act, and interact with others. These inner child wounds, if not addressed early, can cause stress, low self-esteem, and unhealthy behaviors. But you can break free from the past and write a more positive story for your life by facing and addressing these wounds.

Healing your inner child not only helps you understand and be kind to yourself, but it also makes it easier to have better relationships with other people. And in the end, it gives you a deep feeling of power and freedom.

Inner Child Wounds Symptoms: Signs You Need Healing

If you are confused about whether your inner child needs healing or not, here are some of the signs to look for:

  • Being too aggressive, and emotional for small matters
  • Engaging in excessive drinking, spending, or bingeing on social media.
  • Fear of commitment, emotional detachment, or anxiety about abandonment from people who are close to you. 
  • Prioritize other’s needs over your own 
  • Constantly blaming yourself for how others treat you.
  • Relying heavily on others for your self-worth.
  • Suffering from depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorders, or insomnia. These struggles could be tied to your inner child needing care and attention. 

We have a detailed article that goes into detail about what a wounded inner child means and how these wounds can affect you. Have a look. It’s full of thoughts and healing tips that will help you!

Best Techniques For Healing Inner Child Wounds 

Healing inner child wounds isn’t a simple process. A lot of the time, we don’t know how to begin. But here are some of the best techniques that have been used by many people to heal their inner child. 

You can use any of these methods or a combination of all and see what works better for you. 

1. Recognize Your Inner Child 

Before starting to heal, you need to acknowledge your inner child. Anyone can connect with their inner child by thinking of the memories, both bad and good. But if you feel hesitant or reluctant to look back, it can be tough to start the healing process.

If it feels a little weird or awkward, try picturing it as a trip to learn more about yourself. Put aside any fears you have about the idea for now and think of some fun things you did as a child. Getting these thoughts out can help you figure out how they’ve changed you. 

2. Talk to Your Inner Child 

Having a meaningful dialogue is another healing exercise for the inner child that you can do for yourself. By engaging with those parts of you that are in pain, you can have a stronger bond and better healing. 

So speak to yourself when you have a strong or overwhelming feeling, but don’t try to judge. The way you talk to yourself is basically how you speak to your inner child or also reflects how the adults in your life spoke to you when you were young.  This idea also comes under the idea of reparenting, which is discussed in more depth in a future article. 

Instead, ask these questions with love and compassion. 

  • What do you need right now?
  • How can you create a sense of safety and happiness?
  • Are there any fears holding you back?
  • How can I support you better?

Many people find it easy to talk to their inner child as if it were a real person. So don’t be afraid to do that!

3. Re-Visit Your Childhood Interests 

Being in touch with your joy and re-visiting your favorite childhood activities can actually help you deal with challenging times. 

Start by asking yourself, What did you enjoy doing as a child? Was it playing, reading stories, building or collecting something, or just watching cartoons? If you enjoyed them as a kid, then it will surely bring you joy. 

Then try doing the same things as an adult. No matter how childish the joys are, they may bring you the joy you crave as an adult. 

In case your childhood was not full of happy moments, you can spend time with good friends, and plan an outing or a movie date with them.

4. Go Down Memory Lane 

Looking through old photos of your childhood is a great way of connecting and healing your inner child. A study showed that photographs can help us accept a situation and give us a fresh perspective on things that happened in the past. This method allows you to relive those memories, either good or bad ones. 

So look at a younger picture of yours and start listing all the good things you in the picture. Try saying what a wonderful and lovely person you are and you can do anything in life. So by appreciating your childhood picture, you are just reminding yourself of your own worth.  

And if you see a specific photo that brings back bad memories, just don’t toss it aside. Instead, you can think about how that situation affected you for the better and moulded you into the person you are today. It can help you find meaning in your experiences.

5. Try Journaling For Healing Inner Child

Children often keep diaries to document their feelings and thoughts. And if you have stopped this practice as an adult and are trying to heal your inner child, why not try it again? 

Here, the journaling would be a bit different, as you will write to your younger self. Start by writing a letter to yourself, like “Dear Young Me, or maybe a letter from the inner child’s perspective. 

You can also just give some friendly advice or motivation you wish to have had when you were younger. Another thing you can do is to use a self-love worksheet by positivepsychology.com. The journal has some thoughtful questions that are meant to help you heal and think about yourself.

6. Affirmations For Inner Child Therapy

Affirmation is one of the potent tools in healing inner child wounds. Using positive phrases or affirmations can help rewire negative thinking patterns and lay the groundwork for emotional healing, self-love, and self-worth. 

We’re going to give you a list of affirmations that will help you heal your inner child. 

  • I accept and appreciate my inner child.
  • My existence is important.
  • I forgive myself and others. 
  • My feelings are trusted and honored.
  • I am worthy of joy and happiness.
  • My inner child is worthy of a fulfilling and happy life. 

For added impact, try using a mirror while saying these affirmations. 

Also remember not to add phrases like have, should, or supposed as they inflict negative feelings. Always focus on words like I like to, I want to, etc. This mindful method can help you heal and connect with your inner child more deeply.

7. Talk to a Therapist For Healing Inner Child

While you can work on healing your inner child on your own, it’s often better to work with a mental health professional, especially if you had a traumatic event as a child. Inner child therapy provides a secure space to discuss your thoughts and highlight patterns you may not have seen. They can also help you think more positively and spot signs of healing that will motivate you to the right track.

Best Books For Healing Inner Child

Here are some great books to help you heal your inner child. They are full of hope, exercises, stories, and affirmations that will help you change your inner state to one of true freedom and strength. 

This book is one of the best sellers and explains why we end up as wounded adults. With a mix of personal stories and practical exercises, the book makes the process of healing your inner child easy to understand and do.

The author is a psychotherapist who takes the reader on a journey to heal their inner child, teaching them key ideas and methods along the way.

The book is another step-by-step guide about healing the inner child. It also includes exercises and activities to help you understand your thoughts and feelings, manage challenging emotions, and create healthy coping techniques for positive change. 

The message of this book is to connect with deep emotions to heal the inner child. It explains how unresolved past feelings impact your present life and some exercises to deal with it. 

Final Thoughts 

Healing inner child wounds is a life-changing process that can help you deal with past traumas and grow in self-love and inner peace. As you start to heal, remember that it’s okay to get help from people you care about, books, or a mental health professional. Use the tips and affirmations in this article and take small, meaningful steps each day.

If you found this article helpful, share it with your friends and leave any suggestions or questions you have in the comments below. We would love to hear your thoughts!

FAQs

What are the 5 inner child wounds?

There are five most common inner child wounds we all carry. These are abandonment (fear of being left), rejection (feelings of inadequacy), betrayal (trust issues), shame (sense of unworthiness), and isolation (feeling alone). Understanding these wounds is key to healing. 

What does my inner child want?

Your wounded inner child only needs to know that they’re loved and appreciated. It might also crave joy. You may think of it as your carefree, loving side that craves attention and affection.

How do I know if my inner child is wounded and needs healing?

There may be clues in the way that your inner child wants some care. If you find yourself troubled with emotions, getting stuck in negative thoughts and feeling disconnected from happiness could be signs. Or you can just trust your gut; it will often lead you to what you need. 

How long does inner child healing take?

Healing the inner child is totally subjective and it varies from person to person. For some, it can take a few weeks and for some, it might take months or years. It all depends on how you overcome those inner child wounds. 

How do I start my inner child healing?

Acknowledging your inner child could help you start to heal. You can also try journaling, doing creative things you did as a child, or just reflecting. If it seems too much, talking to a therapist can help as well.

References 

  1. “Save the Children International | Four in ten adults worldwide claim their childhoods blighted by discrimination – new research from Save the Children.” Save the Children International, www.savethechildren.net/news/four-ten-adults-worldwide-claim-their-childhoods-blighted-discrimination-%E2%80%93-new-research-save.
  2. —. Europe PMC. europepmc.org/article/med/1891407
  3. Rice, Karen, et al. “Through Their Eyes: Using Photography with Youth Who Experienced Trauma.” NSUWorks, nsuworks.nova.edu/tqr/vol18/iss26/2
  4. PositivePsychology.com. Self-Love Journal. positive.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/Self-Love-Journal.pdf
  5. Cascio, Christopher N., et al. “Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, vol. 11, no. 4, Nov. 2015, pp. 621–29. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsv136

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Heart Chakra Healing: How to Unblock and Balance Your Love Center https://www.thelifestylebook.com/heart-chakra-healing/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/heart-chakra-healing/#respond Mon, 07 Oct 2024 12:15:00 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=5788 Ever felt intrigued about your energetical body? According to ancient Indian wisdom, our bodies contain seven energetical centers that are spaced from the root to the crown of the spine. They’re called ‘chakras’, a term that comes from Sanskrit and means ‘wheel’ or ‘disk’. The heart chakra is the fourth such energetical wheel and connects...

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Heart Chakra Healing

Ever felt intrigued about your energetical body? According to ancient Indian wisdom, our bodies contain seven energetical centers that are spaced from the root to the crown of the spine. They’re called ‘chakras’, a term that comes from Sanskrit and means ‘wheel’ or ‘disk’. The heart chakra is the fourth such energetical wheel and connects deeply to our individual capacity to love, be compassionate, and be balanced emotionally. In addition, heart chakra healing is essential to attain optimal well-being.

This article will explore the topic of heart chakra healing; what the heart chakra is responsible for, what happens when it is blocked, and how to go about rebalancing and healing this energy center. Ready to learn more about the heart chakra and how you can nourish it? Read on.

What is the Heart Chakra? Meaning and Symbol

The chakras are full of symbolism. From imagery and colors to the Sanskrit terminology, let’s examine the meanings behind the heart chakra icons and words. 

The heart chakra is otherwise known as the Anahata chakra, which in the Sanskrit means ‘unstruck’ or ‘unhurt’. This symbolizes the concept of eternal, pure love that exists within each of us. It is apart from pain and hurt and resides deeply in our energetical body.

Every one of the seven chakras has a symbol that may teach us about their meaning. The heart chakra symbol is a green lotus flower with twelve petals that represents the balance of giving and receiving as well as of male and female energy – featured by an interlaced triangle symbol. Every chakra has a color; the heart chakra color is green which is connected with growth, healing, and renewal.

Furthermore, the heart chakra is connected to the air element, which corresponds to freedom, lightness, and the capacity to flow with the turns of life. The heart chakra is found between the chest and lungs, a vital place for the spreading Prana (life force) around the body.

We will touch more on affirmations later, but one heart chakra affirmation that sums up its meaning beautifully is ‘I am open to love’. 

Symptoms of a Blocked Heart Chakra

When any of our chakras are blocked, we often start to feel the impact physically and emotionally. For example, a blocked heart chakra can manifest physically through chest pain, problems with breathing or circulation, heart palpitations, and sometimes neck and shoulder pain. 

Emotionally, a blocked heart chakra can manifest in many ways. Some common symptoms include feelings of loneliness, jealousy, fear, lack of trust, and difficulty forming deep relationships. It can also lead to feeling emotionally numb, where rather than intense emotions you suffer with dampened feelings.

From this comes the concept of underactive and hyperactive chakras. Our heart chakra can be blocked as well as in a condition of overactivity or underactivity, which generates different results. An underactive heart chakra, for instance, can make it much more difficult to give or accept love; an overactive heart chakra can cause you to be easily envious or possessive.

What then happens when you begin to mend your heart chakra and it opens? You might feel more emotionally available, more able to connect with people, and more empathetic to yourself and those closest to you.

How to Unblock the Heart Chakra

You can experiment with several techniques to balance your heart chakra, heal it, and maximize the energy center. Here are some of our favorite ways to go about it.

Heart Chakra Healing Crystals

Heart Chakra Healing Crystals
Source: Pexels

Crystals are powerful tools of energy. The different stones often correspond to different chakras. For the Anahata chakra, there are a few key crystals that are great to have on hand. 

  • Rose quartz: the stone of unconditional love. Helps to heal heartache and promote self-love and forgiveness 
  • Green aventurine: the stone of opportunity. Foster’s emotional recovery helps open the heart to new love and relationships
  • Jade: the stone of harmony. Encourages peace and emotional release
  • Rhodonite: the stone of balance. Supports emotional balance and develops feelings of compassion 
  • Malachite: the stone of protection. Protects against negative energies while helping to clear past trauma 

You might use your crystals as an altar during meditation, or hold them close to your chest. You could wear them as jewelry or simply carry them in your pocket for your own protection.

Affirmations and Meditation to Open the Heart Chakra

Many of us find that visualizing and believing affirmations can enhance our lives in a positive way. Repeating affirmations over time helps your subconscious beliefs to be changed from negative to positive ones.

Here are a few ideas for heart chakra healing affirmations:

  • “I am worthy of love.”
  • “I forgive myself and others.”
  • “I love and accept myself unconditionally.”
  • “My heart is open to love and compassion.”

Meditation is another powerful tool to unblock, heal, balance, and open the heart chakra. Here is a very simple guided meditation you can try to visualize and focus on this energy center:

  1. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.
  2. Visualize a glowing green light emanating from your chest, expanding with each breath.
  3. As you breathe in, imagine love and compassion filling your heart; as you breathe out, release any tension or emotional pain.
  4. Focus on the affirmation, “I am open to love.”

Heart Chakra Healing Yoga: Poses for Healing and Balance

Heart Chakra Healing Exersises
Source: Pexels

Yoga Asanas (postures) can powerfully influence our chakras. When we stimulate these areas of the body, we can melt away tension and move energy around the body in a targeted way. Physically opening the heart space through these Asanas has the potential to reach deeply into the energy center.

Try to include these poses in your next yoga practice, being mindful of your heart chakra:

  • Camel Pose (Ustrasana): Stretches the chest, deeply opens the heart, and releases stored tension.
  • Cobra Pose (Bhujangasana): Opens the heart and energizes the body, encouraging the lungs to open and fill with Prana.
  • Bridge Pose (Setu Bandhasana): A gentle backbend that opens the chest and strengthens the spine safely as well as inverts the energy of the body.
  • Cow Face Pose (Gomukhasana): Releases tension and stretches the chest, shoulders, and heart space.
  • Upward Plank Pose (Purvottanasana): Opens the chest while activating the heart chakra and stretching the heart space and shoulders.

In order to fully enjoy the benefits of these Asanas, you should combine deep, conscious breathing with the poses and focus inwards. This will serve to deepen the heart-opening impact of the postures and make the practice much more well-rounded. Also, you could chant the mantra ‘YAM’ which is the Anahata chakra’s seed sound, also known as the bija mantra. Try changing it a few times to open your practice and connect to the chakra.

Heart Chakra Solfeggio Frequency: Sound Therapy for Aura and Love

Solfeggio frequencies are sound patterns that help to balance energy and harmonize the mind, body, and spirit. Different frequencies are used for different purposes and link to different elements of the energetical body. 639 Hz is specifically linked to harmonizing relationships and emotional healing, so it is useful when we are focusing on heart chakra healing.

Listening to this music, which you can find on all streaming platforms, can help to clear emotional blockages and balance the heart chakra. The 639 Hz frequency is linked to aura love, the energetic field that surrounds the body, therefore helping you to share and attract love and compassion.

You might combine this sound therapy with other methods, such as your affirmations, meditation or asana practice to create a fully holistic experience.

How to Heal Emotional Blockages Through Energy Work

More broadly, there are plenty of techniques that can help to balance your energy centers. They can also be adopted particularly in relation to the Anahata chakra. Here are some ideas:

  • Reiki: Used to clear emotional blockages by channeling universal life energy into the chakras.
  • Acupuncture: Helps to unblock stagnant energy in the chakras, promoting emotional and physical healing.
  • Qi Gong and Tai Chi: Ancient energy practices that balance the flow of energy through the chakras.
  • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT): EFT tapping can be applied to the chakras to release emotional trauma.
heart chakra blocked symptoms
Source: Pexels

10 Heart Chakra Healing Benefits

1. Harmony of Emotions

Heart chakra healing promotes calmness, tranquility, and balance, and helps regulate your emotions. It makes room for a sense of peace by helping reduce extreme sadness, worry, or anger.

2. Stronger Connections

A balanced heart chakra helps you to connect with people through compassion and love. It builds closer, better, and more significant bonds with friends, relatives, and love partners.

3. More Self-love

Healing the heart chakra promotes self-acceptance and compassion. For your general well-being and pleasure, it is essential to let go of negative self-judgments and embrace and accept of yourself totally.

4. Letting Go and Forgiveness

Forgiving others and yourself will come naturally when your heart chakra is healed and balanced. It helps to release emotional pain, resentment, or past trauma therefore freeing up energy for growth and positive experiences.

5. More Compassion and Understanding

Healing this chakra can help you to develop more empathy for other people and a better understanding. It improves your capacity to show love, support, and kindness free from conditions, therefore improving your relationships.

6. Physical Health

Physically, the heart chakra is connected to the lungs, circulatory system, and heart itself. Heart chakra healing can support general cardiovascular health and assist in lowering stress-related problems including high blood pressure.

7. More Gratitude

A healed heart chakra helps you appreciate the people around you and the things you own. This kind of appreciation will help you to see life differently and boost your general state of well-being.

8. Openness to Love

A balanced heart chakra allows you to be loving to others and receive love equally. Healing this chakra helps you to experience love more easily and without anxiety, in friendships or romantic relationships.

9. Emotional Strength

Healing the heart chakra improves your capacity for handling emotional obstacles. It helps you recover from trying circumstances with more inner strength and emotional resilience.

10. Spiritual Development

Between the physical and spiritual worlds lies the heart chakra, the link. Healing this chakra can help you to feel closer to your higher self, spiritual activities, and universal love.

Heart Chakra Healing for Emotional Balance and Love

So, the heart chakra plays a key role in our emotional health and how we form relationships and bonds. Whether its by using crystals, meditation, sound healing or movement, we can work to unblock and heal this energy center. By doing so, we start to create deeper compassion and emotional well-being.

Try incorporating some of these healing practices into your routine, and you might notice that your heart chakra starts to heal, open, and flourish. Returning to the methods consistently will make them all the more powerful, as well as mix and match them for a holistic approach.

Stay tuned for our upcoming blogs in this series, where we will uncover all of the other chakras and how to go about balancing, healing, and nurturing them. For now, check out our previous piece on chakras, How to Spot and Heal Blocked Chakras: Signs and Simple Solutions.

References

Body Soul Yoga. “The Air Element and Yoga.” Body Soul Yoga, https://bodysoulyoga.co.uk/the-air-element-and-yoga/. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024

“Anahata.” Yogapedia, https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/5525/anahata. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

“Solfeggio Frequencies.” Meinl Sonic Energy, https://meinlsonicenergy.com/en/topics/Solfeggio-Frequencies. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

Holistic Rebecca. “YAM Chanting for Heart Chakra Balancing and Inner Peace.” Insight Timer, https://insighttimer.com/holisticrebecca/guided-meditations/yam-chanting-for-heart-chakra-balancing-and-inner-peace. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

“Tiny Rituals: Chakra Crystals.” Tiny Rituals, https://tinyrituals.co/blogs/tiny-rituals/chakra-crystals. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

“Heart Chakra Symbol.” 7 Chakra Store, https://7chakrastore.com/blogs/news/heart-chakra-symbol. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

Collins, Natalie Butler. “EFT Tapping: Techniques, Benefits, and More.” Healthline, 13 May 2022, https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping. Accessed 4 Oct. 2024.

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How to Recognize Your Inner Child Wounds: Signs You Need Healing https://www.thelifestylebook.com/inner-child-wounds/ https://www.thelifestylebook.com/inner-child-wounds/#respond Fri, 04 Oct 2024 16:17:25 +0000 https://www.thelifestylebook.com/?p=5790 You might have heard about the concept of the inner child. Many people use this to mention pure happiness and joy, often linking it to the carefree spirit of childhood. But for some, this can be a bittersweet journey of emotions. These damaged parts of ourselves can become emotional wounds and have a great impact...

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Photo by Ron Lach

You might have heard about the concept of the inner child. Many people use this to mention pure happiness and joy, often linking it to the carefree spirit of childhood. But for some, this can be a bittersweet journey of emotions. These damaged parts of ourselves can become emotional wounds and have a great impact on our relationships and choices as adults. Nobody wants to carry these inner child wounds from the past, right? 

This article is all about inner child wounds, what that means, how to spot them based on the types and signs, and why it’s important to heal them. 

What is an Inner Child?

In analytical psychology, an inner child refers to an adult’s childlike aspect. It means your inner child is the unconscious part of who you are now and it can recall all your past experiences. This concept was developed by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist 

Like everyone else, you were once a child who used to absorb everything like a sponge. This inner child of yours holds the essence of creativity, spontaneity, joy, and playfulness. But it may also be burdened by the anguish of unresolved trauma and unfulfilled desires. But now, that piece lives inside of you.

What are Inner Child Wounds?

Inner child wounds are emotional pains and unresolved issues that affect us as adults. This part of us holds memories and emotions from when we were younger, especially from times that were hard or terrifying. 

There is a pretty strong link in the field of psychology between traumatic events in childhood and mental health problems as an adult. This has been shown in many study studies. In fact, traumatic events in youth have been linked to changes in brain growth and cognition that last a lifetime.

That is why, when your inner child is wounded, the negative emotions cause you to feel like you can’t seep into the present day and impact your daily activities and relationships. A great example is Repaunzel. Her mother taught her and, ultimately, her inner child that she was worthless and that she needed her approval for everything.

Had Rapunzel not escaped the tower and experienced the world her way, she would have grown to be a woman with that wounded inner child who still believed those things about herself and stayed locked in the tower. 

This is exactly what happens when your wounded inner child is not cared for.

What Are Types of Inner Child Wounds?

Now let’s break down the most common types of inner child wounds and discuss how they impact our relationships and decisions in the present.

1. Abandonment Wound

This type of inner child wound comes from not having caretakers or parents around or being left or abandoned as a child. This led to the development of abandonment issues as adults. 

People who have these wounds are usually afraid of being turned down in future relationships as well. And to avoid abandonment, they might let their guard down, fearing that if they stood up for themselves, it might lead to rejection from relationships. 

2. Neglect/Rejection Wound

People often mix up neglect and abandonment because they are very much related to each other.

But neglect means being ignored, treated poorly, forgotten, or not cared for. It can happen when a child’s mental, physical, or social needs are not met. This can make them feel like they don’t deserve love and attention. It leads to poor self-esteem and doubting their abilities as an adult. 

3. Trust Wound

Trust wounds form when people in your life fail to protect you from harm as a child. It means the trust was broken by betrayal by caregivers or inconsistent emotional support. Because of this, many adults try to avoid situations where they could get hurt. 

So, in order to avoid it, such people tend to have behavior that can be shown as not believing what others are saying or thinking they are lying. Or some bigger things, like thinking their partner is cheating on them when they’re not.

4. Guilt Wound

Often, the guilt wound comes from times as a child when a child felt responsible for other people’s feelings or well-being, especially parents. As an adult, you might feel bad about things and apologize for them too much, even when it’s not right. Such behavior makes it hard to put your needs and wants first.

5. Wound of Injustice

This type of wound comes from being treated unfairly by parents, friends, or other people. When children with such wounds grow up, they feel powerless. 

Some of them may act irritated or as adults or think they deserve special care. A lot of the time, they feel like victims and think that life isn’t fair to them. This can make it hard for them to feel happy and connected to others.

Signs of Wounded Inner Child

Most of us are dealing with some form of inner child wounds because no one ever experiences a completely trauma-free childhood. Once you understand how your wounded inner child is affecting your adult life, you can begin to heal those wounds. 

Here are some common signs of a wounded inner child that suggest it’s time for healing. Let’s read them one by one. 

1. You are a People-Pleaser

If you always find yourself making other people a priority without giving any importance to your own needs and wants, then you may have a wounded inner child. 

People’s pleasing often stems from fear of rejection and abandonment, causing people to prioritize others over them. 

2. You Self-Criticize

One of the signs you might notice is that you always find fault with yourself and think your feelings aren’t real. It could be because the adults in your life were too critical or demanding when you were younger. 

As an adult, it can show up as blaming yourself for hours after a mistake at work. Or going over the event over and over in your mind and feeling like a failure instead of seeing it as a normal part of learning.

3. You Always Seek Other’s Approval

Do you always feel better when others validate you?  But once it stops, you start to feel empty again. 

Seeking approval from others is totally healthy. But if you need praise for who you are and what you do and to be told over and over that you are doing well and you fit, then this might be a sign that your inner child is wounded. 

4. You Have Relationship Problems

A neglected or upset inner child can make it difficult to build healthy relationships with your friends and family. This all may result in family tension and feeling rejected, outcast, and criticized by others. Because your inner child doesn’t feel at peace, some internal feelings of frustration or resentment may constantly cause you to get into misunderstandings with those around you. 

5. You Feel Extra Responsible

We all know that we have to be responsible as adults. However, thinking you are in charge of everything and everyone around you. And thinking you need to handle everything and everyone in your unique way is a sign of an early-grown inner child inside you.

6. You Have Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Anything we do to avoid negative or distressing feelings we may have comes under the category of unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

And if you feel like you are doing something extra to avoid a negative feeling or thinking about,  something like drinking, excessively using social media or gaming, or even excessively working just to keep yourself busy, then you may need some inner child work. 

7. You Have Mental Health Issues

People who have inner child wounds often feel empty, useless, and lost all the time. 

There may also be mental health problems like C-PTSD, anxiety, sadness, addiction, eating disorders, and more. Physical problems like headaches, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia have also been linked to traumatic events in childhood. 

If you resonate with any of the signs above, just remember that you are not alone. Many people have inner child wounds, and having them doesn’t make you less valuable. You just need to understand these wounds and find out what you can do to heal them. 

Fortunately, it is possible to fix your inner child’s wounds, which is known as inner child work. It is very important to address this as if you don’t heal your inner child, you could have problems as an adult, like relationship issues, drug use, low self-esteem, and more. 

Online Resources to Find Inner Child Wounds

If you are not sure about the childhood experiences you had, a few online quizzes can help you understand your inner child’s wounds.

This quiz from marriage.com has a simple 15-question survey that helps you uncover the kind of childhood you experienced. It offers valuable insights into your past and how it shapes your inner child today. 

The other one is from mywellbeing.com. You can take this 2-minute quiz to find out how your childhood experiences have shaped you and what you could be dealing with now that you’re an adult.

Summing It Up

Lots of us still carry the scars from our childhood, and most of the time we don’t even know how they affect our lives now. But you can start to break free from these wounded patterns that hold you back by understanding what these inner child wounds are. 

There are also some signs that show you have a wounded inner child, like people-pleasing, self-criticism, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. If any of these signs sound like you, you should pay attention. Being aware of these behaviors can help you deal with the mental pain that’s hiding beneath them.

Now take some time and think, Are any of these signs showing up? The first step to getting your mental health back is to admit that you need to heal. You deserve to be free from the bounds of your past and have a healthy, happy future. 

As we now identify the wounded inner child, let’s remember that winter blues can make it feel worse. So, if you’re feeling down this winter, our article “Beating the Winter Blues: How to Get Out of Winter Depression Naturally” will help you get back on track and be more joyful.

FAQs

What is the inner child wound theory?

Inner child theory suggests that unresolved emotional wounds from childhood might influence how we act as adults. These wounds also affect relationships or well-being in general. Mentally, they are unhealthy, and if we acknowledge them and fix them, then we can get our happiness back. 

What are the 5 wounds of the inner child?

There are five basic types of wounds of the inner child. These are abandonment, rejection, betrayal, shame, and injustice. Each of these wounds can affect the way we act and how we behave as adults. 

How do you heal a wounded inner child?

To heal the wounded inner child, you have to understand and work through past pain. Try to overcome it with strategies. Therapy can help guide this process and help people grow emotionally. 

How long does inner child healing take?

Healing the inner child isn’t a spontaneous process. It could take a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years for someone to fully recover from it. But the real deal is to accept that you are on the road to change and not try to beat the clock.

References

Campbell, Katharine Ann. “The neurobiology of childhood trauma, from early physical pain onwards: as relevant as ever in today’s fractured world.” European Journal of Psychotraumatology, vol. 13, no. 2, Oct. 2022, https://doi.org/10.1080/20008066.2022.2131969

Sjöblom, Margareta, et al. “Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons.” International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-Being, vol. 11, no. 1, Jan. 2016, p. 31486. https://doi.org/10.3402/qhw.v11.31486

De Bellis, Michael D., and Abigail Zisk. “The Biological Effects of Childhood Trauma.” Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, vol. 23, no. 2, Feb. 2014, pp. 185–222. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2014.01.002

Powers, Abigail, et al. “Associations Between Childhood Abuse, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and Implicit Emotion Regulation Deficits: Evidence From a Low-Income, Inner-City Population.” Psychiatry, vol. 78, no. 3, July 2015, pp. 251–64. https://doi.org/10.1080/00332747.2015.1069656

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