“Life is a roller coaster”, is a phrase we have often used to console ourselves during our tougher days. Sometimes, this roller coaster of a life somehow causes some of difficult moments in our lives and relationships. In this case, just comforting ourselves while waiting for the challenging phase to pass sometimes doesn’t work.
If you experience times when you see your spouse stressed due to work or his daily life making him overly strung out, and conversations become short and strained, it can feel as if a shadow has fallen upon your house, leaving you unsure of how to lift it. You may find yourself unable to figure out how to make things better. In those moments, when you need to support your partner, it’s essential to remember that your focus shouldn’t be solely on fixing his problems but on being there for him—truly and fully—at every step of the way. It’s during tough times that the true strength of your bond is tested.
Whether your partner is facing personal challenges, professional setbacks, or emotional struggles, being their rock can make all the difference. This post will guide you on how to support your partner during tough times by being there for them and offering a shoulder to lean on.
Come, let us delve into practical tips on how to support your partner during hard times and, along the way, build deeper and more resilient connections.
How Essential is Support in a Relationship?
Consider this: Your partner comes home from a daily exertion with unseen burdens skewed on their shoulders. They rasp, ruthlessly drop their bag, and then turn towards you. Now just what do you do? How do you react?
Such moments are among those that will build distance if a wrong response is given, yet will build many bridges if a thoughtful and empathetic response is given rather than a mindless reaction. To be “the support your partner needs” is more than the physical presence of a person; it is your emotional presence tuned into the other one’s needs and activated to be of comfort without judgment.
Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship expert, says that the greatest and most successful relationships are usually those in which the partners offer each other emotional support and show genuine care when facing problems. This inevitably reassures your partner that they are not alone in their ordeal.
How to Support Your Partner Through Tough Times
When it comes to supporting your partner during tough times, it becomes very crucial to take every step thoughtfully. This relationship naturally carries extremely high expectations, and when you are able to support them in the right way, you’re not only helping your partner to come out of the troubled times but also making your bond stronger. Here are 7 practical tips that can help you support your partner through their hardest days.
1. Be There and Listen Actively
Active listening involves paying rapt attention to the other person to show that you are interested in whatever the may be going through. Keep your phone away, turn off the TV, and give all your attention to the person before you. Nodding, making eye contact, and saying things like “I’m here for you” or “that sounds tough” can make them feel truly heard.
For instance, if your partner tells you about his or her challenges, you could say, “It sounds like that you’re going through a pretty challenging time at work. How can I best support you through this?” This shows them that you are not only sitting there passively, listening to them, but that you are actively engaged and ready to stand by their side.
2. Provide Emotional Support Without Judgment
When your partner feels down, he might feel hopeless, or worse, ashamed. The best you can do is offer support—support without conditions. It’s best not to give advice and especially not to make them feel like they have done something wrong. Sometimes, reminding them very gently that you do love and support them no matter what the situation, can go a long way in providing reassurance.
You could say something along the lines of, “I understand this is difficult for you, but please do remember, I am here for you, no matter what, you don’t have to experience this alone in silence.”
3. Foster Open Communication
Open communication is very essential in coping with the crunch times together. Provide a non-judgmental and safe space that will prompt your partner to share his thoughts and feelings. Let him know you are all ears once he is ready.
If they look unconvinced to open up, you may lightly encourage them with words such as, “I have observed that you have really kept to yourself these days. I am all ears and ready to listen to you whenever you want to talk.”
4. Provide Practical Help
Sometimes, more than emotional help, practical help might be necessary. When your partner is bogged down, taking care of some everyday responsibilities might relieve them of some stress. It could be doing some of their errands, taking over some of his house chores, or even sharing some of his project-related tasks. Your pragmatic help may give them the elbow room they need to fight back in their battles.
You might say, “I know you have a lot on your plate right now, so let me take dinner tonight, or let me help you with that project.”
5. Respect Their Boundaries
Everybody handles stress differently, and if you sense your partner needs some alone time to think and reflect. It’s important to give them that space while letting them know that you’re there for them if needed. Sometimes, giving a space of understanding is more valuable than words of comfort. Giving them space by letting them know, you are just a gesture away when they need you around might help them cope with their situations better.
6. Offer Professional Help
If it is overwhelming and your partner shows signs of anxiety or depression, then it might become important to urge him or her to seek professional help. Just be careful that you do it sensitively, remembering to encourage out of love and care. Share your concern for him and show your willingness to help him come out of his consistently upset mood by taking some professional help.
7. Practice Patience and Understanding
At times your partner may become rather distant and slightly irritated, but whenever that happens, just remind yourself that it isn’t intentional—not an attempt to hurt you. He is only trying to cope. Your best weapon should be patience. At such times, a partner is often much less communicative than they normally are. It is important to be patient and not take it personally. Remember that they’re only lashing out at whatever they’re going through, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t love or appreciate you.
Repeat to yourself, “This is only a hard time. We will scale through it together.”
The Psychological Impact of Supportive Relationships
Standing by your partner in times of trouble does much more than supporting one’s partner themselves—it establishes the very fabric of your relationship. Research shows that couples who support each other during challenging times find more satisfaction and last longer in a relationship. The feeling that one is cared for produces a cycle of positive regard, and care deepens the emotional connection that one may have with their partner.
It is also helpful when a person supports his or her partner. Being kind and empathetic to your spouse may be helpful in your life such that you feel more alive and attached to your partner. As stated by JK Kiecolt-Glaser and TL Newton you will also be able to nourish your physical and emotional health by being the kind of support that your marital relationship needs.
Final Takeaways
Providing your partner with the help they need during difficult times is indeed a powerful way to deepen your relationship. This will make a world of difference in their life.
Remember, it’s not about being smart and bold enough to fix everything but what will make a real difference is being there, understanding, and walking together through the challenge. This will also build a foundation of trust and love through and through. So, when your partner is facing the harshest times, be that rock to support your partner, and you both will come out stronger on the other end.
References:
- Research shows that couples who support each other during challenging times find more satisfaction and lastingness in a relationship – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9136471/
- D. John Gottman, a well-known relationship expert, says that the greatest and most successful relationships are usually those in which the partners offer each other emotional support and care when they face problems. – https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/
- As stated by JK Kiecolt-Glaser and TL Newton you will also be able to nourish your physical and emotional health by being the kind of support that your marital relationship needs. – https://scholar.google.com/scholar_lookup?journal=Psychological+Bulletin&title=Marriage+and+health:+His+and+hers&author=J.+K.+Kiecolt-Glaser&author=T.+L+Newton&volume=127&publication_year=2001&pages=472-503&pmid=11439708&
Leave a Reply